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My Favorite Emails Of all the forwarded emails that I get, some actually make me laugh, some really "touch my heart" because of the sincerity that the message conveys, and others are just plain creative. So here are my favorite emails. There are over 100 of 'em so, scroll at will! Animated emails: 2 Timothy 1:7 & The Snowball! Subject: Speaking of verses... A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back "Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door. The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was notation "Genesis 3:10". Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me." Genesis 3:10 reads: "I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked." WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual Associated Press headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid. And, yes, Linda is a blonde. On a special Teachers' Day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is, some flowers." "That's right" the boy replied, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it and said, "I bet I can guess what it is, a box of candy." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," the teacher said. The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held it overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No" the boy replied, obviously delighted that he was the first student to at least temporarily defy the teacher's apparent insight. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the clearly delighted boy answered. Once again the teacher tasted the leakage and finally said, "I give up, what is it?" The boy enthusiastically replied, "It's a puppy!" Satan's convention Satan called a worldwide convention. In his opening address to his evil angels, he said, "we can't keep the Christians from going to church" "we can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth" "we can't even keep them from conservative values." "but we can do something else. we can keep them from forming an intimate, abiding experience in Christ. If they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken. So let them go to church, let them have their conservative lifestyles, but steal their time, so they can't gain that experience in Jesus Christ. this is what I want you to do, angels. distract them from gaining hold of their savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day" how shall we do this? shouted his angels. "keep them busy in the none-essentials of life and invent unnumbered shams to occupy their minds," he answered. "tempt them to spend, spend, spend, then, borrow, borrow, borrow. Convince the wives to go to work and the husband to work six or seven days a week., 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their lifestyles. Keep them from spending time with their children. As their family fragments, soon their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work. Over stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still small voice.. Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive, to keep the TV, the VCR and their CD's going constantly in their homes. And see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays music constantly. This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ." Fill their coffee tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day. Invade any other moments with order catalogues, every kind of newsletter and promotional offering, free products, services and false hopes" "Even in their recreation, let them be excessive, have them return from their recreation exhausted, disquieted and unprepared for the coming week. Don't let them go out in nature. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, and concerts instead. and when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled conscience and unsettled emotions. Let them be involved in soul- winning, but crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Christ. soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family unity for the good of the cause. It was quite a convention in the end, and the evil angels went eagerly to their assignments, causing Christians everywhere to get busy, busy, busy and rush here and there. HAS THE DEVIL BEEN SUCCESSFUL AT HIS SCHEME ? YOU BE THE JUDGE AUTHOR UNKNOWN A LETTER FROM SATAN This is just a letter of appreciation from me to you. I'd like to say "thanks" for letting me use you for most of your life. You are so gullible. I saw you yesterday as you began your daily chores. You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of fact, you didn't even bless your meals or pray before going to bed last night. You are so unthankful. I like that about you. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you decided to go another day without giving your life and your will to God. I am so glad that you have not changed your way of living. You are mine. Remember, you and I have been going steady for years, and I don't love you yet. As a matter of fact, I HATE YOU. I hate you because I hate God. I'm only using you to get even with God. He kicked me out of heaven and I'm going to use you as long as possible to pay Him back. You see, God loves you and He has great plans in store for you, but you have yielded your life to me and I'm going to make your life a living hell. That way, we'll be together twice. This will really hurt God. Thanks to you, I'm really showing Him who's bossing your life. With all the good times we have had watching dirty movies, cussing folks out, partying, stealing, lying, hypocritting, fornicating, smoking, drinking, working roots, telling dirty jokes, gossiping, hating, backstabbing folks, envying, and lusting. Come on, let's burn together forever. I've got some hot plans for us. Well, I've gotta go now. I'll be back in a few seconds to tempt you again. What are YOU going to do about it? If you were smart, you would run somewhere, confess your sins, and live for God with what little bit of life you have left. Ha. Your life is so pathetic. Filled with selfish hopes and dreams. It's not my nature to warn anyone, but you've been warned about me all these years and you STILL won't heed the warnings and submit so it really doesn't matter. I thank you and I look forward to meeting you in person real soon. Your cell has been reserved! If you really love me, you will not share this letter. With hate, Satan WHEN I SAY I AM A CHRISTIAN When I say..."I am a Christian" When I say..."I am a Christian" When I say..."I am a Christian" When I say..."I am a Christian" When I say..."I am a Christian" When I say..."I am a Christian" When I say..."I am a Christian" -- umoja -- for more of my poetry please check; http://www.ulbobo.com/umoja - DO NOT SKIP AHEAD. Read this message ONE LINE AT A TIME and just do what it says. You will be glad you did. If not, you'll feel like an idiot and wish you had listened. 1) pick a number from 1-9
2) subtract 5
3) multiply by 3
4) square the number (multiply by the same number-not square root)
5) add the digits until you get only one digit (i.e. 64=6+4=10=+0=1)
6) if the number is less than 5, add five. Otherwise subtract 4.
7) multiply by 2
8) subtract 6
9) map the digit to a letter in the alphabet 1=A, 2=B, 3=C, etc...
10) pick a name of a country that begins with that letter
11) take the second letter in the country name and think of a mammal that begins with that letter
12) think of the color of that mammal
(keep scrolling)
DO NOT SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU HAVE DONE ALL OF THE ABOVE
Here it comes,
NO CHEATING or you'll be sorry. . .
you should have a gray elephant from Denmark. Pretty cool, huh? If you liked it, pass it along. Amaze your friends, as long as they are capable of doing the math and know the names of the countries of the world. One day a woman named Louise fell asleep in her bed, and dreamed a very fitful dream. She dreamed that someone in Hell wrote a letter to her, and it was to be delivered to her by a messenger. The messenger passed between the lakes of burning fire and brimstone that occupies Hell, and found his way to the door that would lead him to the outside world. Louise dreamed that the messenger walked to her house, came inside, and gently but firmly woke Louise up. He gave her the message, saying only that a friend had wrote it to her from Hell. Louise, in her dream, with trembling hands took the letter and read: My Friend, I stand in Judgment now, And feel that you're to blame somehow. On earth, I walked with you day by day, And never did you point the way. You knew the Lord in truth and glory, But never did you tell the story. My knowledge then was very dim; You could have led me safe to Him. Though we lived together on the earth, you never told me of the second birth, and now I stand this day condemned, Because you failed to mention Him. You taught me many things, that's true, I called you "friend" and trusted you, But I learn now that it's too late, You could have kept me from this fate. We walked by day and talked by night, And yet you showed me not the Light. You let me live, and love, and die, You knew I'd never live on high. Yes, I called you a "friend" in life, And trusted you through joy and strife. And yet on coming to the end, I cannot, now, call you "My Friend." Marsha After reading the letter, Louise awoke. The dream was still so real in her mind and sweat dropped from her body in pools. She swore she could still smell the acrid smell of brimstone and smoke from her room. As she contemplated the meaning of her dream, she realized that as a Christian, she has failed in her duty to "go out to all the world and preach the gospel." As she thought of that, she promised herself that the next day, she would call Marsha and invite her to church with her. The next morning she called Marsha and this was the conversation: Yes, Bill, is Marsha there? Louise, you don't know? No, Bill, know what? Marsha WAS KILLED LAST NIGHT IN A CAR ACCIDENT. I thought you had known. Are you witnessing to your friends that you are with everyday? Subject: The Fence There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Then it gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share a word of praise, and they always want to open their hearts to us. Show your friends how much you care. I thought this one is so cute........ Happy Easter A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the Bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place -- candy, too. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry. A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong. "I feel terrible," he explained, "I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?" The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead Bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the furry animal. Miraculously the Easter Bunny came to back life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!!!! The man was astonished. He said to the woman, "What in heaven's name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?" The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said: "Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave." A friend of mine sent this to me I thought you all would like it. At least I hope so. The Father's Eyes This teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship. Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game. This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high school. But his father continued to encourage him but also made it very clear that he did not have to play football if he didn't want to. But the young man loved football and decided to hang in there. He was determined to try his best at every practice, and perhaps he'd get to play when he became a senior. All through high school he never missed a practice nor a game, but remained a bench warmer all four years. His faithful father was always in the stands, always with words of encouragement for him. When the young man went to college, he decided to try out for the football team as a "walk-on". Everyone was sure he could never make the cut, but he did. The coach admitted that he kept him on the roster because he always puts his heart and soul into every practice and, at the same time, provided the other members with the spirit and hustle they badly needed. The news that he had survived the cut thrilled him so much that he rushed to the nearest phone and called his father. His father shared his excitement and was sent season tickets for all the college games. This persistent young athlete never missed practice during his four years at college, but he never got to play in the game. It was the end of his senior football season, and as he trotted onto the practice field shortly before the big play off game, the coach met him with a telegram. The young man read the telegram and became deathly silent. Swallowing hard, he mumbled to the coach, "My father died this morning. Is it all right if I miss practice today?" The coach put his arm gently around his shoulder and said, "Take the rest of the week off, son. And don't even plan to come to the game on Saturday. Saturday arrived, and the game was not going well. In the third quarter, when the team was ten points behind, a silent young man quietly slipped into the empty locker room and put on his football gear. As he ran onto the sidelines, the coach and his players were astounded to see their faithful teammate back so soon. "Coach, please let me play. I've just got to play today, "said the young man. The coach pretended not to hear him. There was no way he wanted his worst player in this close playoff game. But the young man persisted, and finally feeling sorry for the kid, the coach gave in. "All right," he said. "You can go in." Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes. This little unknown, who had never played before was doing everything right. The opposing team could not stop him, He ran, he passed, blocked and tackled like a star. His team began to triumph. The score was soon tied. In the closing seconds of the game, the kid intercepted a pass and ran all the way for the winning touchdown. The fans broke loose. His teammates hoisted him onto their shoulders. Such cheering you've never heard! Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had showered and left the locker room, the coach noticed that the young man was sitting quietly in the corner all alone. The coach came to him and said, "Kid, I can't believe it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?" He looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said. "Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?' The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, "Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play, and I wanted to show him I could do it!" SO REMEMBER RIGHT NOW: Somebody is very proud of you. . . . SOMEBODY NEEDS YOU TO SEND THIS TO THEM. "Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart." -unknown To everything there is a season. A time for every purpose under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1 Brownies with a Difference Many parents are hard pressed to explain to their youth why some music, movies, books, and magazines are not acceptable material for them to bring into the home or to listen to or see. One parent came up with an original idea that is hard to refute. The father listened to all the reasons his children gave for wanting to see a particular PG-13 movie. It had their favorite actors. Everyone else was seeing it. Even church members said it was great. It was only rated PG-13 because of the suggestion of sex--they never really showed it. The language was pretty good--the Lord's name was only used in vain three times in the whole movie. The teens did admit there was a scene where a building and a bunch of people were blown up, but the violence was just the normal stuff. It wasn't too bad. And, even if there were a few minor things, the special effects were fabulous and the plot was action packed. However, even with all the justifications the teens made for the 13' rating, the father still wouldn't give in. He didn't even give his children a satisfactory explanation for saying, "No." He just said, "No!" A little later on that evening the father asked his teens if they would like some brownies he had baked. He explained that he'd taken the family's favorite recipe and added a little something new. The children asked what it was. The father calmly replied that he had added dog poop. However, he quickly assured them, it was only a little bit. All other ingredients were gourmet quality and he had taken great care to bake the brownies at the precise temperature for the exact time. He was sure the brownies would be superb. Even with their father's promise that the brownies were of almost perfect quality, the teens would not take any. The father acted surprised. After all, it was only one small part that was causing them to be so stubborn. He was certain they would hardly notice it. Still the teens held firm and would not try the brownies. The father then told his children how the movie they wanted to see was just like the brownies. Our minds are us into believing that just a little bit of evil won't matter. But, the truth is even a little bit of poop makes the difference between a great treat and something disgusting and totally unacceptable. The father went on to explain that even though the movie industry would have us believe that most of today's movies are acceptable fare for adults and youth, they are not. Now, when this father's children want to see something that is of questionable material, the father merely asks them if they would like some of his special dog poop brownies. That closes the subject. Why Parents Go Grey The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?" "Yes", whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes", came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "no". Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child. "Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman". Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman"? "No, he's busy", whispered the child. "Busy doing what?, asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman", came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice. "What is going on there?", asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed, whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper" Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there"? Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "They're looking for me" Here is what you're supposed to do - Copy this entire email and change all the answers so that they apply to you. Then send it to people you know, INCLUDING me. You should get back e-mails that may tell you a lot about your friends you may not have known. It could be worth ten minutes of your day to do this. Maybe. Come on....it'll be fun. I did this just because I love Amanda and she said that I would respond. FULL NAME: Antoine Jason Maycock Subject: PAID IN FULL A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted. As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with the young man's name embossed in gold. Angrily, he raised his voice to his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?" and stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible. Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him once that graduation day. Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home immediately and Take care of Things. When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart. He began to search through his father's Important Papers and saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had carefully underlined a verse, Matt 7:11: "And if ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more shall your Heavenly father which is in heaven, give to those who ask Him?" As he read those words, a car key dropped from the back of the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name, the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired. On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words... PAID IN FULL. How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected? I trust you enjoyed this. It was a cold winter's day that Sunday. The parking lot to the church was filling up quickly. I noticed as I got out of my car that fellow church members were whispering among themselves as they walked to the church. As I got closer I saw a man leaned up against the wall outside the church. He was almost lying down as if he was asleep. He had on a long trench coat that was almost in shreds and a hat topped his head, pulled down so you could not see his face. He wore shoes that looked 30 years old, too small for his feet with holes all over them, his toes stuck out. I assumed this man was homeless, and asleep, so I walked on by through the doors of the church. We all fellowshipped for a few minutes, and someone brought up the man laying outside. People snickered and gossiped but no one bothered to ask him to come in, including me. A few moments later church began. We all waited for the Preacher to take his place and to give us the Word, when the doors to the church opened. In came the homeless man walking down the aisle with his head down. People gasped and whispered and made faces. He made his way down the aisle and up onto the pulpit he took off his hat and coat. My heart sank. There stood our preacher...he was the "homeless man." No one said a word.. The preacher took his Bible and laid it on the stand. "Folks, I don't think I have to tell you what I am preaching about today." Then he started singing the words to this song. "If I can help somebody as I pass along. If I can cheer somebody with a word or song. If I can show somebody that he's traveling wrong. Then my living shall not be in vain." "IS YOUR LIVING IN VAIN?" The Adventist Home, page 181, paragraph 3 Chapter Title: The Child's First School The education centering in the family was that which prevailed in the days of the patriarchs. For the schools thus established, God provided the conditions most favorable for the development of character. The people who were under His direction still pursued the plan of life that He had appointed in the beginning. Those who departed from God built for themselves cities, and, congregating in them, gloried in the splendor, the luxury, and the vice that make the cities of today the world's pride and its curse.. But the men who held fast God's principles of life dwelt among the fields and hills. They were tillers of the soil and keepers of flocks and herds; and in this free, independent life, with its opportunities for labor and study and meditation, they learned of God and taught their children of His works and ways. This was the method of education that God desired to establish in Israel. Something To Think About Did you know that Bill Gates'real name is William Henry Gates III? Nowadays, he is known as Bill Gates (III) where III means the order of third. So what's so eerie about this name? Well, if you take all the letters in Bill Gates III and then convert it into ASCII code (American Standard Code for Info. Interchange) and then add up all the numbers.... you will get 666, which is the number of the beast. B = 66 I = 73 L = 76 L = 76 G = 71 A = 65 T = 84 E = 69 S = 83 I = 1 I = 1 I = 1 Add these numbers and they equal 666. Coincidence? Perhaps.... Maybe, but take Windows 95 and do the same procedure and you will get 666 also. And even MS-DOS 6.31 adds up to 666. Still think it is coincidence? Stay with me....it gets better. For those of you who still have the old excel 95 (not office 97) try this out: (this really works) 1 - Open a new file 2 - Scroll down to row 95 3 - Click on the row 95 button to highlight the entire row 4 - Press tab to move to the second column 5 - Now, move your mouse and click on help at the top 6 - Then click on "about Microsoft excel" 7 - Press ctrl-alt-shift and click on the tech support button at the same time. A window will appear with the title: THE HALL OF TORTURED SOULS. This is really eerie, okay! It has a doom style format and you can walk all around the hall using the arrow keys. On the sides of the walls are the names of the tortured souls.... now walk up the stairs and then come back down, Facing the blank wall. Now type in EXCELKFA; this will open the blank wall to reveal another secret passage, walk through the passage and do not fall off. This is difficult to do. When you get to the end you will see something really, really eerie. As of this point in time, countless witnesses all over the world have verified that it is a real eye opener. It could be a joke by MS programmers. Or is it? Would it be too surprising if Bill Gates was the antichrist? After all, the bible fore told that someone powerful would rise up and lead the world to destruction. And Bill Gates definitely has this kind of power in his hands. More than 80% of computers in the world today run on windows and DOS including those at the Pentagon). If all of his products have some kind of small program embedded, like this "hall of tortured souls", that can give him control to set off nuclear arsenals, create havoc in security systems and financial systems all over the world, etc. All from his headquarters. "Trust the computer industry to shorten 'Year 2000' to 'Y2K.' It was this kind of thinking that caused the problem in the first place." Hello! We are in Grade 5 at Mill Cove District School, which is about 1/2 hour west of Halifax, Nova Scotia. We have 7 girls and 10 boys in our class. We have decided to map an email project. We are curious to see where in the world our email will travel by Internet, between the period of April 8 - June 7, 1999. We would like your help. If you receive this message, we ask that you: - 1) email back and tell us your location so we can plot it on our world map AND... 2) send our class letter on to more people. Thank you for any help you can give. Our email address is Note: When I send in an email from my location, I got an automatic reply that said they had to stop the project early because they received more email than they could handle. Who'll Take the Son? A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art. When the Viet Nam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son. About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands. He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art. The young man held out his package. "I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this." The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. "Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift." The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected. The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection. On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. "We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?" There was silence. Then a voice in the back of the room shouted. "We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one." But the auctioneer persisted. "Will someone bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?" Another voice shouted angrily. "We didn't come to see this painting.. We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!" But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The son! Who'll take the son?" Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting." Being a poor man, it was all he could afford. "We have $10, who will bid $20?" "Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters." "$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?" The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections. The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!" A man sitting on the second row shouted. "Now let's get on with the collection!" The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the auction is over." "What about the paintings?" "I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings. The man who took the son gets every thing!" God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on a cruel cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is, "The son, the son, who'll take the son?" Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything. --author unknown Subject: FW: special napkins "Special Occasions" This is more embarrassing for my mother than for me because I wasn't quite four years old when it happened. My mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet door was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts she told me that those were for special occasions. Now fast forward a few months. It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tails in so they didn't hang off the edge. My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions! Something to think about!!!!! Be blessed! Melinda Hugley This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he was going to steal. She had no weapon and was all alone. The only thing that she could think to do was quote scripture. So, she holds up a hand and says: "ACTS 2:38!!!" The burglar quakes in fear and then freezes to the point that she is able to get to the phone and call 911 for the cops. When the cops arrive, the burglar is still frozen in place. They are very much surprised that a woman alone with no weapon could do this. One of them asked the lady: "How did you do this?" The woman replied:" I quoted scripture." The cop turned the burglar: "What was it about the scripture that had such an effect on you?" The burglar replied: "Scripture! What scripture? I thought she said she had an axe and two 38's." Hi folks, Hope you can gain something from this one. Pam
The Cross The young man was at the end of his rope. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer. Lord, I can't go on, he said, I have too heavy a cross to bear. The Lord replied, My son, if you can't bear its weight just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish. The man was filled with relief. Thank you Lord, he sighed, and he did as he was told. Upon entering the other door, he saw many crosses, some so large the tops were not visible. Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall. I'd like that one, Lord, he whispered. And the Lord replied, My son, that is the cross you just brought in. When life's problems seem overwhelming, it helps to look around and see what other people are coping with. You may consider yourself far more fortunate than you imagined. ATM Envelopes Whenever you go to an automatic teller machine to make deposits, make sure you don't lick the deposit envelopes. (spit on it) A customer died after licking an envelope at a teller machine at Yonge & Eglinton. According to the police, Dr. Elliot at the Women's college hospital found traces of cyanide in the lady's mouth and digestive system and police traced the fatal poison to the glue on the envelope she deposited that day. They then did an inspection of other envelopes from other teller machines in the area and found six more. The glue is described as colorless and odorless. They suspect some sicko is targeting this particular bank and has been putting the envelopes beside machines at different locations. A spokesperson from the bank said their hands are tied unless they take away the deposit function from all machines. So watch out, and please forward this message to the people you care about. Subject: telephone scam Thought I would share a message I received today: I received a telephone call today (at home) from an individual Identifying himself as an AT&T Service Technician who was conducting a test on our telephone lines. He stated that to complete the test I should touch nine (9), zero (0), the pound sign (#) and then hang up. I was suspicious and refused. Upon contacting the telephone company, I was informed that by pushing 90#, you give the requesting individual full access to your telephone line, which allows them to place long distance telephone calls billed to your home phone number. I was further informed that this scam has been originating from many of the local jails/prisons. I have also verified this information with Southern Bell, MCI and GTE. Please beware. DO NOT press 90# for ANYONE. The GTE Security Department requested that I share this information with others. PLEASE pass this On to everyone you know. If you have mailing lists and/or newsletters from organizations you are connected with, I encourage you to pass on this information to them, too. Peggy A. Jackson, Physical Education Department West Orange Ninth Grade Center 1625 S Beulah Rd Winter Garden, Fl 34787-4499 (407) 656-2424 Thought I would share the following with you. It says it all. A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the dollar bill up. He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well," he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty. "Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value in God's eyes. To Him, dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to Him. Psalm 17:8 states that God will keep us, "as the apple of His eye. THOUGHT: The worth of our lives come not in what we do or who we are but by WHOSE WE ARE You are special - Don't ever forget it! Please Pass this on to your nearest and dearest friends, associates and colleagues .You will never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the Hope that it can bring! I thought you would appreciate reading the amazing experience of Bishop David Hill who next Sabbath will join our SDA church together with about 150 members of his congregation. Several reports have appeared on the internet during the last few days about the amazing experience of David Hill, a former bishop of the Church of the Living God, who next Sabbath, June 5, will be accepted into the fellowship of the SDA Church together with 150 members of his congregation. Some of the reports indicate that Pastor Hill came into contact with our Adventist message during the recent crusade at the Newark First SDA Church, in New Jersey conducted by Elder Leo Schreven, Evangelist for IT IS WRITTEN. This is not true. Pastor Hill told me that he visited for the first time an Adventist church service on May 21-22, when he attended the SABBATH ENRICHMENT SEMINAR I presented at the Newark First SDA Church. Let me briefly share few basic facts about Pastor Hill's experience, that I have learned tonight during the 45 minutes telephone conversation. For the past twelve years Pastor Hill has served as the pastor of the Church of the Living God, in Newark, New Jersey. This denomination of Pentecostal leanings, has numerous congregations across North America and overseas. In January 1997, a members of his congregation asked Pastor Hill on a Tuesday night if he could explain to her the Biblical reasons for observing Sunday. He replied that he would preach a sermon on that very subject the following Sunday. During the rest of the week Pastor Hill spend considerable time re-examining the first day New Testament texts commonly used to support Sunday keeping. To his surprise he discovered that they have no probative value for Sunday keeping. When he stood up to preach the following Sunday, he told his congregation that he needed more time to study the Biblical basis for Sunday keeping before he could preach a sermon on that subject. For the next three months Pastor Hill contacted various libraries and bookstores, inquiring about books dealing with the change from Saturday to Sunday in early Christianity. One of the bookstore that he called was the Adventist Book Center in New York. Mr. Reid, a sales person at the New York ABC, was most helpful. He reassured Pastor Hill that he had just the book that he was looking for and he would mail it to him immediately free of charge. The book was my dissertation FROM SABBATH TO SUNDAY, where I investigate the rise of Sunday observance in early Christianity. The Lord has used this book to help thousands of people around the world to accept the Sabbath and join our SDA church. Pastor Hill told me on the phone: "Your book set my soul on fire. I carried it in my brief case every where I went and used it to share my new found conviction about the validity of the Sabbath with every person I met." After three months of diligent Bible study, on March 1977 Pastor Hill did finally preach the sermon on the Biblical basis for Sundaykeeping. But to the surprise of his congregation he publicly admitted that after diligent study of the Biblical and historical data, he had come to the conclusion that Sundaykeeping has no Biblical origin or justification. He urged his congregation to follow him in returning to the Biblical principle and practice of Sabbathkeeping. Most of his members did accept the Sabbath and consequently they moved their church services from Sunday to Saturday. As one would expect, the Presiding Bishop of the Church of the Living God became terribly upset with Pastor Hill, and told him: "You have committed a terrible sin. You must repent and tell publicly your congregation about your mistake. The evidence for Sundaykeeping is all around you. Only few sectarian churches observe the Sabbath." The situation deteriorated when Pastor Hill refused to repent and confess his alleged sin of abandoning Sundaykeeping. Instead he began sharing the Sabbath truth with all his fellow pastors across the country and overseas. The unwillingness of Pastor Hill to reconsider his decision, caused the Presiding Bishop to take some drastic actions. He terminated Pastor Hill's employment and with the help of the police evicted him from the parish house. Even the parish car (a Cadillac) was taken away from Pastor Hill. I will let Pastor Hill tell the details of this traumatic experience in his forthcoming report. What amazes me about Pastor Hill's experience, is his undaunted courage and contagious enthusiasm. The trials he has to face to take his stand for the Sabbath, have not break his spirit. Instead he has become bolder in sharing the Sabbath truth. I wish that you could have heard him speak on Sabbath afternoon, May 22, at the First Newark SDA Church. During the questions/answers period, our local SDA Pastor Jeddy Hooker who was on the platform with me, suggested that I invite Pastor Hill to come forward and say few words. He came up to the platform bringing along a minister of another denomination with whom he is studying the Sabbath. Pastor Hill spoke for about ten minutes and I can truly say that he brought the house down. He is a most gifted black preacher who knows how to communicate with a congregation. After almost ever sentence there was a round of applause. He appealed to me for his earnest desire to follow the teachings of the Word of God, rather than those ecclesiastical traditions that contradict Scripture. His eagerness to share his faith is both admirable and contagious. During the telephone conversation Pastor Hill told me that he had just received a call from a bishop of the Church of the Living God in Surinam-a South American country between British and French Guyana. This bishop informed Pastor Hill that he had received and read FROM SABBATH TO SUNDAY. At present there are four pastors with close to one thousand members in Surinan who have accepted the Sabbath. The bishop asked Pastor Hill to inquire if I would be willing to visit them in Surinan and help them to understand the Sabbath more fully. I reassured Pastor Hill that I would do my best to include this assignment in my 1999 calendar which is already practically full with commitments in North America and overseas. The witnessing influence of Pastor Hill is incredible. He wants me to meet with a bishop of the Church of the Living God in Los Angeles and others in different parts of the country. To support his outreach endeavors I am mailing him as a gift a complete case of my four Sabbath books, in addition to a set of the 15 books I have authored on fundamental Biblical truths. Pastor Hill informed me that this coming Sabbath, June 5, both himself and about 150 members of his congregation plan to officially join our SDA church at a special service scheduled for 3:30 p. m. at the Newark First SDA Church. This special service has been set up by our local SDA Pastor Jeddy Hooker together with some officers of the New Jersey Conference. They will preside over the acceptance of David Hill and his members into the fellowship of our SDA church. I am not sure that this will be an official acceptance as members of our SDA church. It would seem to me that it may be more of an acceptance into fellowship, as a prelude to a full fledged acceptance into membership after adequate instruction into the SDA beliefs. I look forward to share the rest of the story in future installments of ENDTIME ISSUES. Within the next few days I should receive Pastor Hill's personal testimony which I plan to post. Let pray for Pastor Hill and for his witnessing outreach, especially at this critical time when he is facing trials and opposition. Christian regards Samuele Bacchiocchi, Ph. D., I've learned- that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I've learned- that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. I've learned- that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it. I've learned- that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts. I've learned- that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something. I've learned- that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do. I've learned- that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. I've learned- that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I've learned- that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I've learned- that you can keep going long after you can't. I've learned- that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I've learned- that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I've learned- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. I've learned- that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I've learned- that money is a lousy way of keeping score. I've learned- that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time. I've learned- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up. I've learned- that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I've learned- that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I've learned- that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. I've learned- that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I've learned- that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it. I've learned- that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological. I've learned- that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I've learned- that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself. I've learned- that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. I've learned- that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. I've learned- that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. I've learned- that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. I've learned- that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever. I've learned- that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I've learned- that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process. I've learned- that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you. I've learned- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. I've learned- that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I've learned- that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. I've learned- that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe. Carjacking Foiled An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she knows how to use it and that she will, if required.....so get out of the car. The 4 men didn't wait around for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. Small problem, her key wouldn't fit the ignition. Her car was identical and parked four / five spaces further down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where 4 pale white males were reporting a car-jacking by a mad, elderly, white woman......no charges were filed. 10 Things Black Folks Should Do Now 1. Register to vote or . . . shut up! 2. Take all that money out of those stocking caps, tin cans, bed mattresses, floorboards and invest your money in something. For starters, invest in the food you eat and clothes you wear. 3. Learn another language--Ebonics doesn't count. 4. Stop using the "N" word by the year 2000 . . especially since Merriam Webster has announced it ain't changing the definition--you've got a little time, but time is wasting. 5. Buy something each week from a Black vendor. 6. Stop blaming white folk for 98% of your problems, while giving them 100% of your money. 7. Subscribe to Ebony, Jet, Black Enterprise--[preferred choice], Essence, Emerge or Heart and Soul. Then subscribe to one of the three weeklies: Time, Newsweek or U.S. News & World Report. After we read about what's going on in our world, how about knowing what's going on in theirs? It is, after all, your world. 8. Stop walking past each other and not speaking. 9. Be on time for something--anything! 10. Get an annual checkup--herbs do not cure everything! A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the masters house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his masters house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your masters house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said. The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the masters house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the Pot apologized to the bearer for its failure. The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my masters table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house." Each of us has our own unique flaws. We are all cracked pots. In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste. Don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and you too can be the cause of beauty. Know that in our weakness we find our strength. --Author unknown ¿TENDRAS TIEMPO ? Cuando te levantabas esta mañana te observaba y esperaba que me hablaras, aunque fuera unas cuantas palabras, preguntando mi opinión o agradeciéndome por algo bueno que te haya sucedido ayer. Pero no, estabas muy ocupado buscando la ropa adecuada para ponerte e ir al trabajo. Seguí esperando de nuevo mientras corrías por la casa arreglándote, supe que habría unos cuantos minutos para que te detuvieras y me dijeras " ¡¡ Hola!!!", pero estabas demasiado ocupado. Te observe mientras ibas rumbo al trabajo y espere pacientemente todo el día. Con todas tus actividades supongo que estabas demasiado ocupado para decirme algo. Pero está bien, aun queda mucho tiempo. Despues encendiste el televisor, espere pacientemente mientras veias el televisor, cenabas, pero nuevamente te olvidaste de hablar conmigo y nada. A la hora de dormir, creo que ya estabas muy cansado. Despues de decirle buenas noches a tu familia, caiste en tu cama y casi de inmediato te dormiste, no hay problema, porque quizas no te das cuenta de que siempre estoy ahi para ti. Tengo mas paciencia de la que te imaginas. Tambien quisiera ensenarte como tener paciencia para con otros. Te amo tanto que espero todos los dias por una oracion, un pensamiento o un poco de gratitud de tu corazon. Bueno, te estas levantando de nuevo, y otra vez esperare sin nada mas que mi amor por ti, esperando que el dia de hoy me dediques un poco de tiempo. ¡¡¡ Que tengas un buen dia !!!! Tu amigo: JESUS PD.-: ¿Tendras suficiente tiempo como para enviar esto a otra persona? Subject: FW: Parents 4 YEARS OF AGE: My Mommy and Daddy can do anything! INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE 1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. Attorney General Janet Reno, said the following: "A cultist is one who has a strong belief in the Bible and the Second Coming of Christ; who frequently attends Bible studies; who has a high level of financial giving to a Christian cause; who home schools for their children; who has accumulated survival foods and has a strong belief in the Second Amendment; and who distrusts big government. Any of these may qualify a person as a cultist but certainly more than one of these would cause us to look at this person as a threat, and his family as being in a risk situation that qualified for government interference." Janet Reno, Attny. Gen., US of A Interview on 60 Minutes, June 26, 1994 Directions to Heaven: First of all, WHOSOEVER will must make a U-turn on the "Road of Repentance." Then make a Right onto "Believeth Blvd." Keep Straight and go through the Green Light which is Jesus Christ. From there, you must turn onto the "Bridge of Faith," which is over troubled water. When you get off the bridge, make a Right turn and Keep Straight. You are on the "King's Highway"- Heaven-bound. Keep going for three miles: One for the Father, One for the Son, and One for the Holy Ghost. Then exit off onto "Grace Blvd." From there, make a Right turn on "Gospel Lane. "Keep Straight and then make another RIGHT on "Prayer Blvd." As you go on your way, yield not to the traffic on "Temptation Ave." Also, avoid SIN STREET because it is a DEAD END. Pass up "Envy Drive," and "Hate Avenue." Also, pass "Hypocrisy Street," "Gossiping Lane," and "Backbiting Blvd." But you have to go down "Long-suffering Lane," "Persecution Blvd.," and "Trials and Tribulations Avenue." From there, make another Right onto "Peace Street." Keep Straight and you will come to the parking lot of "Immortality." It's all right to park there. Get out of the body and junk it. Go into the building not made by hands. Sit down and talk to KING JESUS. Tell Him all about your troubles and dwell in His House FOREVER! I HEARD AN ANGEL CRY What race was Jesus? This is to let you know that Jesus was multiracial: THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH: 1. He went into his father's business. THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH: 1. He never got married. THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN: 1. His first name was Jesus. THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN: 1. He talked with his hands. THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS CALIFORNIAN: 1. He never cut his hair. ...and finally THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK: 1. He called everybody brother. Here are a couple on interesting number/mind tricks that someone sent me and I thought you might enjoy. Just follow the instructions below: DON'T scroll down too fast-do it slowly and follow the instructions below exactly, do the math in your head as fast as you can. It may help to say the answers aloud quietly. FOLLOW these instructions one at a time and as QUICKLY as you can!
What is: 2+2?
4+4?
8+8?
16+16?
Quick! Pick a number between 12 and 5.
Got it?
Now scroll down...
The number you picked was 7, right? Isn't that weird??? Free will or synaptic wiring? You be the judge. Check out the following exercise, guaranteed to intrigue you out. There's no trick or surprise. Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as quickly as you can! Again, as quickly as you can but don't advance until you've done each of them...really. Now, ARROW down (but not too fast, you might miss something)...
What is:
1+5
2+4
3+3
4+2
5+1
Now repeat saying the number 6 to yourself as fast as you can for 15 seconds. Then scroll down.
QUICK!!! THINK OF A VEGETABLE! Then arrow down.
Keep going.
You're thinking of a carrot right? If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are warped enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with carrot when given this exercise. Freaky, huh?
Here is another one DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It only takes 30 seconds. Work this out as you read. Don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! 1. First of all, pick the number of days a week that you would like to eat out. 2. Multiply this number by 2. 3. Add 5. 4. Multiply it by 50. 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1748. If you haven't, add 1747. 6. Last step: Subtract the four digit year that you were born. SEE BELOW You should now have a three digit number: The first digit of this was your original number (i.e. how many times you want to go out each week). The second two digits are your age!!! This is the only year (1998) it will ever work, so spread the fun around while it lasts...banana Tickets "I tried to pass this one to anyone I could think of. I know for a fact that this works so if you ever get in this situation, you have an out. This procedure works in any state. Read it and try it, you have nothing to loose but the points in your license." Nameless author. If u get a speeding ticket or went through a red light or whatever the case may be, and you are going to get points on your license, then there is a method to ensure that you DO NOT get any points. When u get your fine, send in the check to pay for it and if the fine is say $79, then make the check out for $82 or some small amount above the fine. The system will then have to send you back a check for the difference, but here is the trick! ---DO NOT CASH THE CHECK!! Throw it away! Points are not assessed to your license until all the financial transactions are complete. If you do not cash the check, then the transactions are not complete. However the system has gotten its money so it is happy and will not bother you any more. Anybody Else? A man named Jack was walking along a steep cliff one day when he accidentally got too close to the edge and fell. On the way down he grabbed a branch, which temporarily stopped his fall. He looked down and to his horror saw that the canyon fell straight down for more than a thousand feet. He couldn't hang onto the branch forever, and there was no way for him to climb up the steep wall of the cliff. So Jack began yelling for help, hoping that someone passing by would hear him and lower a rope or something. "HELP! HELP! Is anyone up there? HELP!" He yelled for hours, but no one heard him. He was about to give up when he heard a voice. "Jack, Jack. Can you hear me?" "Yes, yes! I can hear you. I'm down here!" "I can see you, Jack. Are you all right?" "Yes, but . . . Who are you, and where are you?" "I am the Lord, Jack. I'm everywhere." "The Lord? You mean, GOD?" "That's Me." "God, please help me! I promise if You'll get me down from here, I'll stop sinning. I'll be a really good person. I'll serve You for the rest of my life." "Easy on the promises, Jack. Let's just get you down from there; then we can talk. Now, here's what I want you to do. Listen carefully." "I'll do anything, Lord. Just tell me what to do." "Okay. Let go of the branch." "What?" "I said, let go of the branch. Just trust Me. Let go." There was a long silence. Finally Jack yelled, "HELP! HELP! IS ANYONE ELSE UP THERE?" Have you ever felt like Jack? We say that we want to know the will of God, but when we find out what it is, we can't handle it. It sounds too scary, too difficult. We decide to look elsewhere. When He says, "Let go of the things that stand between you and Me, and trust Me with your life," it sounds pretty scary. But when we let go, we find freedom and safety in His hands. Happiness is the result of circumstances, but joy endures in spite of circumstances. ...in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore. Psalm 16:11 YOU MAY BE THE ONLY JESUS THAT SOME WILL EVER SEE! New York City, on a cold day in December. A little boy about 10 years old was standing before a shoe store on Broadway, barefoot, peering through the window and shivering with cold. A lady approached the boy and said, "My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that window?" "I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes," was the boy's reply. The lady took him by the hand and went into the store. She asked the clerk to get a half-dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her. She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet and dried them with a towel. By this time the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair on the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes. Tying up the remaining pairs of socks, she gave them to him. She patted him on the head and said, "No doubt, my little fellow, you feel more comfortable now?" As she turned to go, the astonished lad caught her by the hand, and, looking up in her face with tears in his eyes, answered the question with these words: "Are you God's wife? Great Reasons To Be A Guy Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A 5 day vacation requires only 1 suitcase. You can open all your own jars. Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind. You can go to the bathroom without a support group. You don't have to learn to spell a new last name. You can leave the motel bed unmade. You can kill your own food. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. Wedding plans take care of themselves. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he/she can still be your friend. * Your underwear is $10 for a 3 pack. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices. Everything on your face stays its original color. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat. 3 pair of shoes are more than enough. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming. Car mechanics tell you the truth. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me". Same work . . . more pay. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character. Wedding dress - $2000, Tuxedo rental - $75 bucks. You don't smooch off others desserts. You can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a gift. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become life long friends. Yours pals can be trusted to never trap you with "So, notice anything different?". You are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors. You don't have to stop and think which way to turn a nut on a bolt. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. The same hair style last for years, maybe decades. You don't have to shave below the neck. At least a few belches are expected and tolerated. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on December 24th in 45 minutes. The Gossiper A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor. Within a few days the whole community knew the story. The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended. Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue. She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage. "Go to the marketplace," he said, "and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road." Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told. The next day the wise man said, "Now go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me." The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had blown the feathers all away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three in her hand. "You see," said the old sage, "it's easy to drop them, but it's impossible to get them back. So it is with gossip. It doesn't take much to spread a rumor, but once you do, you can never completely undo the wrong." Author Unknown Please don't, take my sunshine away! Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling. They find out that the new baby is going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sings to his sister in Mommy's tummy. The pregnancy progresses normally for Karen, an active member of the Panther Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown, Tennessee. Then the labor pains come. Every five minutes ... every minute. But complications arise during delivery. Hours of labor. Would a C-section be required? Finally, Michael's little sister is born. But she is in serious condition. With siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushes the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee. The days inch by. The little girl gets worse. The pediatric specialist tells the parents, "There is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst." Karen and her husband contact a local cemetery about a burial plot. They have fixed up a special room in their home for the new baby-now they plan a funeral. Michael, keeps begging his parents to let him see his sister, I want to sing to her," he says. Week two in intensive care. It looks as if a funeral will come before the week is over. Michael keeps nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care. But Karen makes up her mind. She will take Michael whether they like it or not. If he doesn't see his sister now, he may never see her alive. She dresses him in an oversized scrub suit and marches him into ICU. He looks like a walking laundry basket, but the head nurse recognizes him as a child and bellows, "Get that kid out of here now! No children are allowed. The mother rises up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glares steel-eyed into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line. "He is not leaving until he sings to his sister!" Karen tows Michael to his sister's bedside. He gazes at the infant losing the battle to live. And he begins to sing. In the pure hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sings: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray ---" Instantly the baby girl responds. The pulse rate becomes calm and steady. Keep on singing, Michael. "You never know, dear, how much I love you, Please don't take my sunshine away" --- The ragged, strained breathing becomes as smooth as a kitten's purr. Keep on singing, Michael. "The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms..." Michael's little sister relaxes as rest, healing rest, seems to sweep over her. Keep on singing, Michael. Tears conquer the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glows. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't, take my sunshine away." Funeral plans are scrapped. The next, day-the very next day-the little girl is well enough to go home! Woman's Day magazine called it "the miracle of a brother's song." The medical staff just called it a miracle. Karen called it a miracle of God's love! NEVER GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE "Every day I live I am more convinced that the waste of life lies in the love we have not given, the powers we have not used, the selfish prudence that will risk nothing and which, shirking pain, misses happiness as well." ALL GOOD THINGS He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in Morris, Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was one in a million. Very neat in appearance, but had that happy-to-be-alive attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness delightful. Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again that talking without permission was not acceptable. What impressed me so much, though, was his sincere response every time I had to correct him for misbehaving "Thank you for correcting me, Sister!" I didn't know what to make of it at first, but before long I became accustomed to hearing it many times a day. One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often, and then I made a novice-teacher's mistake. I looked at Mark and said, "If you say one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!" It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out, "Mark is talking again." I hadn't asked any of the students to help me watch Mark, but since I had stated the punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it. I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I walked to my desk, very deliberately opened by drawer and took out a roll of masking tape. Without saying a word, I proceeded to Mark's desk, tore off two pieces of tape and made a big X with them over his mouth. I then returned to the front of the room. As I glanced at Mark to see how he was doing, he winked at me. That did it! I started laughing. The class cheered as I walked back to Mark's desk, removed the tape, and shrugged my shoulders. His first words were, "Thank you for correcting me, Sister." At the end of the year, I was asked to teach junior-high math. The years flew by, and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again. He was more handsome than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen carefully to my instruction in the "new math," he did not talk as much in ninth grade as he had in third. One Friday, things just didn't feel right. We had worked hard on a new concept all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with themselves -- and edgy with one another. I had to stop this crankiness before it got out of hand. So I asked them to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then I told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed me the papers. Charlie smiled. Mark said, "Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good weekend." That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On Monday I gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" I heard whispered. "I never knew that meant anything to anyone!" "I didn't know others liked me so much." No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another again. That group of students moved on. Several years later, after I returned from vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home, Mother asked me the usual questions about the trip -- the weather, my experiences in general. There was a lull in the conservation. Mother gave Dad a sideways glance and simply says, "Dad?" My father cleared his throat as he usually did before something important. "The Eklund's called last night," he began. "Really?" I said. "I haven't heard from them in years. I wonder how Mark is." Dad responded quietly. "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he said. "The funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend." To this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me about Mark. I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. Mark looked so handsome, so mature. All I could think at that moment was, Mark I would give all the masking tape in the world if only you would talk to me. The church was packed with Mark's friends. Chuck's sister sang "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." Why did it have to rain on the day of the funeral? It was difficult enough at the graveside. The pastor said the usual prayers, and the bugler played taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by the coffin and sprinkled it with holy water. I was the last one to bless the coffin. As I stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to me. "Were you Mark's math teacher?" he asked. I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin. "Mark talked about you a lot," he said. After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates headed to Chuck's farmhouse for lunch. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting for me. "We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. "They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it." Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. I knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much for doing that," Mark's mother said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it." Mark's classmates started to gather around us. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home." Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album." "I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary." Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Vicki said without batting an eyelash. "I think we all saved our lists." That's when I finally sat down and cried. I cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again. Written by: Sister Helen P. Mrosla CLEAN BLOOD The day is over, you are driving home. You tune in your radio. You hear a little blurb about a little village in India where some villagers have died suddenly, strangely, of a flu that has never been seen before. It's not influenza, but three or four fellows are dead, and it's kind of interesting. They're sending some doctors over there to investigate it. You don't think much about it, but on Sunday, you hear another radio spot. Only they say it's not three villagers, it's 30,000 villagers in the back hills of this particular area of India, and it's on TV that night. CNN runs a little blurb; people are heading there from the disease center in Atlanta because this disease strain has never been seen before. By Monday morning when you get up, it's the lead story. For it's not just India; it's Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iran, and before you know it, you're hearing this story everywhere and they have coined it now as "the mystery flu". The President has made some comment that he and everyone are praying and hoping that all will go well over there. But everyone is wondering, "How are we going to contain it?" That's when the President of France makes an announcement that shocks Europe. He is closing their borders. No flights from India, Pakistan, or any of the countries where this thing has been seen. That night you are watching a little bit of CNN before going to bed. Your jaw hits your chest when a weeping woman is translated from a French news program into English: "There's a man lying in a hospital in Paris dying of the mystery flu. "It has come to Europe." Panic strikes. As best they can tell, once you get it, you have it for a week and you don't know it. Then you have four days of unbelievable symptoms. Then you die. Britain closes it's borders, but it's too late. South Hampton, Liverpool, North Hampton, and it's Tuesday morning when the President of the United States makes the following announcement: "Due to a national security risk, all flights to and from Europe and Asia have been canceled. If your loved ones are overseas, I'm sorry. They cannot come back until we find a cure for this thing." Within four days our nation has been plunged into an unbelievable fear. People are selling little masks for your face. People are talking about what if it comes to this country, and preachers on Tuesday are saying, "It's the scourge of God." It's Wednesday night and you are at a church prayer meeting when somebody runs in from the parking lot and says, "Turn on a radio, turn on a radio!!" While the church listens to a little transistor radio with a microphone stuck up to it, the announcement is made, "Two women are lying in a Long Island hospital dying from the mystery flu." Within hours it seems, this thing just sweeps across the country. People are working around the clock trying to find an antidote. Nothing is working. California, Oregon, Arizona, Florida, Massachusetts. It's as though it's just sweeping in from the borders. Then, all of a sudden the news comes out. The code has been broken. A cure can be found. A vaccine can be made. It's going to take the blood of somebody who hasn't been infected, and so, sure enough, all through the Midwest, through all those channels of emergency broadcasting, everyone is asked to do one simple thing: "Go to your downtown hospital and have your blood type taken. That's all we ask of you. When you hear the sirens go off in your neighborhood, please make your way quickly, quietly, and safely to the hospitals." Sure enough, when you and your family get down there late on that Friday night, there is a long line, and they've got nurses and doctors coming out and pricking fingers and taking blood and putting labels on it. Your wife and your kids are out there, and they take your blood type and they say, "Wait here in the parking lot and if we call your name, you can be dismissed and go home." You stand around scared with your neighbors, wondering what in the world is going on, and that this could be the end of the world. Suddenly a young man comes running out of the hospital screaming. He's yelling a name and waving a clipboard. What? He yells it again! And your son tugs on your jacket and says, "Daddy, that's me." Before you know it, they have grabbed your boy. "Wait a minute, hold it!" And they say, "It's okay, his blood is clean. His blood is pure. We want to make sure he doesn't have the disease. We think he has got the right type. Your son could save the world." Five agonizing minutes later, out come the doctors and nurses, crying and hugging one another some are even laughing. It's the first time you have seen anybody laugh in a week, and an old doctor walks up to you and says, "Thank you, sir. Your son's blood type is perfect. It's clean, it is pure, and we can make the vaccine." As the word begins to spread all across that parking lot full of folks, people are screaming and praying and laughing and crying. But then the gray-haired doctor pulls you and your wife aside and says, "May we see you for a moment? We didn't realize that the donor would be a minor and we need. . . we need you to sign a consent form." You begin to sign and then you see that the number of pints of blood to be taken is empty. "H-h-h-how many pints?" And that is when the old doctor's smile fades and he says, "We had no idea it would be a little child. We weren't prepared. We need it all, sir." "But...but..." "You don't understand. We are talking about the world here. Please sign. "But can't you give him a transfusion?" "If we had clean blood we would. Can you sign? Would you sign?" In numb silence you do. Then they say, "Would you like to have a moment with him before we begin?" Can you walk back? You're asked yourself. Can you walk back to that room where he sits on a table saying, "Daddy? Mommy? What's going on?" Can you take his hands and say, "Son, your mommy and I love you, and we would never ever let anything happen to you that didn't just have to be. Do you understand that?" And when that old doctor comes back in and says, "I'm sorry, we've got to get started. People all over the world are dying." Can you leave? Can you walk out while he is saying, "Dad? Mom? Dad? Why why have you forsaken me?" And then next week, when they have the ceremony to honor your son, and some folks sleep through it, and some folks don't even come because they go to the lake, and some folks come with a pretentious smile and just pretend to care. Would you want to jump up and say, "MY SON DIED! DON'T YOU CARE?" Is that what God is saying? "MY SON DIED. DON'T YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I CARE?" "Father, seeing it from your eyes breaks our hearts. Maybe now we begin to comprehend the great love you have for us. Amen." Author Anonymous My First Time The sky was dark Her hair so soft Her skin so soft I didn't know how I remember my fear And when she did it At last it's finished He he he! You sicko's! Get your minds out of the gutter!!!! A Friend.... (A)ccepts you as you are FRIEND IS A TREASURE A friend is someone we turn to When our spirits need a lift, A friend is someone we treasure For our friendship is a gift, A friend is someone who fills our lives With beauty, joy, and grace And makes the world we live in A better and happier place. CAUTION: ON DRINKING STRAIGHT FROM CANNED SODAS ! ! ! Whenever you buy a can of coke or any other canned soft drink, please make sure that you wash the top with running water and soap or, if not available, drink with a straw. A family friend died after drinking a can of soda! Apparently, she didn't clean the top before drinking from the can. The top was encrusted with dried rat's urine which is toxic and obviously lethal!!!!! Canned drinks and other foodstuffs are stored in warehouses and containers that are usually infested with rodents and then get transported to the retail outlets without being properly cleaned. Please make friends and family aware of this hazard. I Cannot Pray I cannot say "Our" if my religion has no room for others and their needs. I cannot say "Father" if I do not demonstrate this relationship in my daily life. I cannot say "who art in Heaven" if all my interests and pursuits are in earthly things. I cannot say "hallowed be thy name" if I, who am called by his name am not holy. I cannot say "thy Kingdom come" if I am unwilling to give up my own sovereignty and accept the righteous reign of God. I cannot say "thy will be done" if I am unwilling or resentful of having it in my life. I cannot say "on Earth as it is in Heaven" unless I am truly ready to give myself to his service here and now. I cannot say "give us this day our daily bread" without expending honest effort for it or by ignoring the genuine needs of my fellow men. I cannot say "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" if I continue to harbor a grudge against anyone. I cannot say "lead us not into temptation" if I deliberately choose to remain in a situation where I am likely to be tempted. I cannot say "deliver us from evil" if I am not prepared to fight in the spiritual realm with the weapon of prayer. I cannot say "Thine is the kingdom" if I do not give the King the disciplined obedience of a loyal subject. I cannot say "Thine is the power" if I fear what my neighbors do or say to me. I cannot say "and Thine is the glory" if I am seeking my own glory first. I cannot say "forever" if I am anxious about each day's events. I cannot say "amen" unless I honestly say "Cost what it may, this is my prayer." HAPPINESS IS A BYPRODUCT OF ACTIVITY Happiness lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort. The human spirit needs to accomplish, to achieve, to triumph to be happy. Happiness does not come from doing easy work, but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievement of a difficult task that demands your best. Your growth itself contains the seed of happiness. There is no happiness except in the realization that you have accomplished something. You cannot pursue happiness by itself. Happiness thrives in activity. It is a running river, not a stagnant pond. Holy Humor :-) Some people are kind, polite and sweet-spirited - until you try to get into their pew. [George Goldtrap, Madison, Tennessee] The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close. [Mark Twain] Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Saturday and pray for a crop failure. [Fred Allen] Do you know the three times that most people are in church? When they are hatched, matched and dispatched. [Lowell B. Yoder, Holland, Ohio] Quit griping about your church; if it were perfect, you couldn't belong. [Msgr. JosephP. Dooley, Martins Creek, Pennsylvania] If a church wants a better pastor, it can get one by praying for the one it has. [Rev. Robert E. Harris] A lot of church members who are singing "Standing On The Promises" are just sitting on the premises. [Sr. Monique Rysavy] We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers. [Donna Maddux, Stillwater, Oklahoma] Every evening I turn my troubles over to God - He's going to be up all night anyway. [Donald J. Morgan, Columbus, Ohio] I don't know why some people change churches - what difference does it make which one you stay home from? [Rev. Denny Brake] If a Savior leaves you as you are and where you are, from what has He saved you? [Rev. Denny Brake] Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God. [Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.] If your left hand doesn't know what your right hand is doing, you should consider running for a job in Washington. [Anonymous] To err is human; to blame it on somebody else is even more human. [John Nadeau, Medford, Massachusetts] Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set. [Rev. Denny Brake] --taken from "More Holy Humor" --submitted by Mavis Weatherhead A Missing Day in Space Did you know that the space program is busy proving that what has been called "myth" in the Bible is true? Mr Harold Hill, President of the Curtis Engine Company in Baltimore Maryland and a consultant in the space program, relates the following development. I think one of the most amazing things that God has for us today happened recently to our astronauts and space scientists at Greenbelt, Maryland. They were checking the position of the sun, moon, and planets out in space where they would be 100 years and 1000 years from now. We have to know this so we won't send a satellite, up and have it bump into something later on its orbits. We have to lay out the orbits in terms of the life of the satellite, and where the planets will be so the whole thing will not bog down. They ran the computer measurement back and forth over the centuries and it came to a halt. The computer stopped and put up a red signal, which meant that there was something wrong either with the information fed into it or with the results as compared to the standards. They called in the service department to check it out and they said "what's wrong ?" Well they found there is a day missing in space in elapsed time. They scratched their heads and tore their hair. There was no answer. Finally, a Christian man on the team said, "You know, one time I was in Sunday School and they talked about the sun standing still." While they didn't believe him, they didn't have an answer either, so they said, "Show us". He got a Bible and went back to the book of Joshua where they found a pretty ridiculous statement for any one with "common sense." There they found the Lord saying to Joshua ,"Fear them not, I have delivered them into thy hand; there shall not a man of them stand before thee." Joshua was concerned because he was surrounded by the enemy and if darkness fell they would overpower them. So Joshua asked the Lord to make the sun stand still! That's right--"The sun stood still and the moon stayed---and hasted not to go down about a whole day!" The astronauts and scientists said, "There is the missing day!" They checked the computers going back into the time it was written and found it was close but not close enough. The elapsed time that was missing back in Joshua's day was 23 hours and 20 minutes--not a whole day. They read the Bible and there it was "about (approximately) a day" These little words in the Bible are important, but they were still in trouble because if you cannot account for 40 minutes you'll still be in trouble 1,000 years from now. Forty minutes had to be found because it can be multiplied many times over in orbits. As the Christian employee thought about it, he remembered somewhere in the Bible where it said the sun went BACKWARDS. The scientists told him he was out of his mind, but they got out the Book and read these words in 2 Kings: Hezekiah, on his death-bed, was visited by the prophet Isaiah who told him that he was not going to die. Hezekiah asked for a sign as proof. Isaiah said "Do you want the sun to go ahead 10 degrees?" Hezekiah said "It is nothing for the sun to go ahead 10 degrees, but let the shadow return backward 10 degrees.." Isaiah spoke to the Lord and the Lord brought the shadow ten degrees BACKWARD! Ten degrees is exactly 40 minutes! Twenty three hours and 20 minutes in Joshua, plus 40 minutes in Second Kings make the missing day in the universe! References: Joshua 10:8 and 12,13 2 Kings 20:9-11 Two Boxes I have in my hands two boxes Which God gave me to hold He said,"Put all your sorrows in the black, And all your joys in the gold." I heeded his words, and in the two boxes Both my joys and sorrows I store But though the gold became heavier each day The black was as light as before With curiosity, I opened the black I wanted to find out why And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole Which my sorrows had fallen out by I showed the hole to God, and mused aloud, "I wonder where my sorrows could be." He smiled a gentle smile at me. "My child, they're all here with me." I asked,"God, why give me the boxes, "Why the gold, and the black with the hole?" "My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings, the black is for you to let go." Want to be SALT to someone? Become a redemptive person according to Matthew 5:13. Show love Some good Scripture verses to read and meditate on are: John 16:18, II Cor. 4:4, Matthew 9:38, Hebrews 3:12-13, John 17:15, John 14:27 and John 6:44. "Mercy is as beautiful in a time of trouble as rain clouds in a time of drought." Ecclesiasticus Blessed Lord - May I be ever mindful that You are in control and when I put my trust in You without reservation, my burdens are lighter. Amen "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbors as yourself. I am the Lord." Leviticus 19:18 We cannot fulfill God's requirement...without having right attitudes toward those around us. Jeanette Lockerbie Did you know that Jesus is your FOREVER friend? 1. In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one. 2. In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you walked through the scary halls. 3. In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully. 4. In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus. 5. In fourth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do- si-do-ing with Nasty Nicky or Smelly Susan. 6. In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you. 7. In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to Nick or Susan, your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed. 8. In seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who let you copy the social studies homework from the night before that you had. 9. In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball cards so that your room would be a "high schooler's" room, but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears. 10. In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to that "cool" party thrown by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there. 11. In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch. 12. In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with Nick or Susan, and found you a date to the prom. 13. In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college, assured you that you would get intothat college, helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go... 14. At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give asthey congratulated you. 15. The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents, assured you that now that you and Nick or you and Susan were back together, you could make it through anything, helped you pack up for college and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind, and finally on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to come over and send you off with a hug, a lot of memories, reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18years, and most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved. 16. Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, hold your hand when you're scared,helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you! Pass on to those friends of the past, and those of the future...and those you have met along the way... Thank you for being a friend. No matter where we go or who we become, never forget who helped us get there. There's never a wrong time to pick up a phone or send a message telling your friends how much you miss them or how much you love them. You know who you are, pass it on to someone who you want to remind. So Send this to all your friends and maybe those who aren't but just watch and see who sends it back. The Greatest Pain in Life The greatest pain in life is not to die, but to be ignored. To lose the person you love so much to another who doesn't care at all. To have someone you care so about so much throw a party... and not tell you about it. When your favorite person on earth neglects to invite you to his graduation. To have people think that you don't care. The greatest pain in life, is not to die, but to be forgotten. To be left in the dust after another's great achievement. To never get a call from a friend, just saying "hi." When you show someone your innermost thoughts and they laugh in your face. For friends to always be too busy to console you when you need someone to lift your spirits. When it seems like the only person who cares about you, is you. Life is full of pain, but does it ever get better? Will people ever care about each other, and make time for those who are in need? Each of us has a part to play in this great show we call life. Each of us has a duty to mankind to tell our friends we love them. If you do not care about your friends you will not be punished. You will simply be ignored ... forgotten... as you have done to others. *This poem was written by a young girl who committed suicide three years ago. Perhaps if the people surrounding her had shown a little more love, and had paid more attention to her, her death could have been prevented. Remember that when going through life, you can't judge a sad, lonely, or suicidal person by their facial expression. You need to get to know each person you come in contact with, cherish your friendship with them, and show them that you care. Please forward to everyone you care about. Hope you all enjoy this one! For those of you who don't get it, ... it's a joke! :-) HOW TO WRITE GOODER Here are several very important but often forgotten rules of English: 1. Avoid alliteration. Always. Subject: FW: 1 Little, 2 Little, 10 Little Christians 10 Little Christians standing in line In this little jingle, there is a lesson true, --author unknown *ACTUAL Announcements Taken From Church Bulletins* Don't let worry kill you. Let the church help. The Call from the Telemarketer One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went something like this: At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting. Me: Hello? When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested", but this lady was persistent. AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24
hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Now, I am sure she meant
she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute but she at no
time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was time to whip
out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering. Click on the address below: http://members.tripod.com/~nukiee/game.html HA HA :-) TOP 22 SIGNS YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 90s 22. Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out
of the back seat of your car. .....and the number 1 sign you've had too much of the 90's: 1. You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person. Slow Dance Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round You better slow down Do you run through each day When the day is done, You'd better slow down Ever told your child, Ever lost touch, You'd better slow down When you run so fast When you worry Life is not a race. PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO HELP THIS LITTLE GIRL.......... Dear All, I just received this mail from a friend of mine in my college. Please respond to it. It will just mean employing a little bit of time and won't cost you a penny. All it needs is the heart for you to send this mail. PLEASE pass this mail on to everybody you know. It is the request of a little girl who will soon leave this world as she has been a victim of the terrible disease called CANCER. Thank you for your effort, this isn't a chain letter, but a choice for all of us to save a little girl that's dying of a serious and fatal form of cancer. Please send this to everyone you know...or don't know. This little girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a chain letter telling everyone to live their life to fullest, since she never will. She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a family of her own. By you sending this to as many people as possible, you can give her and her family a little hope, because with every name that this is sent to, The American Cancer Society will donate 3 cents per name to her treatment and recovery plan. One guy sent this to 500 people!!!! So, I know that we can send it to at least 5 or 6. Come on you guys.... and if you're too selfish to take 10-15 minutes scrolling this and forwarding it to EVERYONE, then you are one sick person. Just think it could be you one day. It's not even your money, just your time!!! PLEASE PASS IT ON ............ Dr. Dennis Shields Professor Department of Developmental and Molecular Biology Albert Einstein College of Medicine of Yeshiva University 1300 Morris Park Avenue Bronx, New York 10461 Phone 718-430-3306 Fax 718-430-8567 *P.S. There were a lot of emails like this one that asked you to forward an email to your friend for "rewards" like doing it would help a sick, young child, or you'd get money in the mail, or something along those lines. I've never heard of these kinds of emails being beneficial Below is an incredible story of faith, I thought you might enjoy reading it. Mark Hodnett Many of you are aware that in the last week staff and students associated with AWA (Adventist World Aviation), based at Andrews University, have been pleading a "faith case" with God, regarding a twin engine airplane ready to leave for Guyana. Scheduled for departure within days, liability coverage insurance was activated, based on an in-hand quote. However, AWA leaders were dismayed that Lloyds of London had changed its mind. Instead of a $10,000 yearly premium, they now would require $ 25,000! Overseas mission service for the donated plane was suddenly out of the question. The matter was appealed, reconsidered by Lloyds, decision firm. $ 25,000 or no coverage! "And thereby hangs the following tale"... Recently formed by laymen, without denominational subsidies, AWA has encouraged several dozen students to prepare themselves as missionary pilot-mechanics. Now they, along with the small AWA staff, took the insurance matter to God. They were facing "walls of Jerico". Would God deliver? Kneeling in a large circle, they opened their hearts to the Lord of Heaven. And then they formulated an amazing request. "Lord, we believe you sent this particular aircraft in answer to our prayers, we have done our part. It is nearly ready to go. But, to protect others, at least liability insurance is needed. Now we can do nothing. We are helpless. The old serpent is angry. Deliver us." "To prove to everyone that You are in control, that You not only can, but WILL provide for those who go on Your missions without a voted budget, FOR YOUR HONOR, we ask that Lloyds of London come back with a revised quote, but not for $ 10,000...please make the new quote LESS than $ 10,000. Specifically we ask for LESS THAN the first quote, as a sign, and we will give you all the glory". A week later God weighed in with His decision. I was nearly asleep last night (Saturday) when the phone rang. My oldest son, David, was calling. He is the mission pilot who will use the aircraft in Guyana. "Dad, guess what? I just received word from Don Starlin, (President of AWA) that Lloyds has just advised that they will insure the aircraft for use in the Caribbean as well as in Guyana................for $500 yearly premium!" The sun is about to set on this old world, God is in a hurry. He is looking for men and women who will act on faith, not just talk about it! He has provided abundant counsel to this Church to organize and establish a worldwide work. It has prospered as it has followed that advice. It strikes some of us that perhaps, just maybe, at the end of time, there is an emergency plan being implemented. Why not trust Him to directly supply our need. When "every earthly support is cut off" who will then send us a check? Now is the time to learn what He will do IF we give Him a chance. "The path where God leads the way may lie through the desert or the sea, but it is a safe path". PP 290 God didn't just lower the premium on that plane, He made it unreasonably low, (about the cost of car insurance), that NO ONE could say the earlier quote was the result of misreading actuarial tables by an employee of the world's premier insurance company. That quote is humanly unreasonable. And there the matter rests. Airplane insurance premiums have not dropped precipitously worldwide. Don't run out to insure your plane at that rate! This is a special case. God knows how to answer prayer. What do you think? Kindest regards,
Richard Gates PS: If you forward this letter to Christian friends, put me on the list too. I'd like to know how many others are made aware of this miracle. Thank you. "A Story To Live By" by Ann Wells (Los Angeles Times) My brother-in-law opened the bottom drawer of my sister's bureau and lifted out a tissue-wrapped package. "This," he said, "is not a slip. This is lingerie." He discarded the tissue and handed me the slip. It was exquisite; silk, handmade and trimmed with a cobweb of lace. The price tag with an astronomical figure on it was still attached. "Jan bought this the first time we went to New York, at least 8 or 9 years ago. She never wore it. She was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is the occasion." He took the slip from me and put it on the bed with the other clothes we were taking to the mortician. His hands lingered on the soft material for a moment, then he slammed the drawer shut and turned to me. "Don't ever save anything for a special occasion. Every day you're alive is a special occasion." I remembered those words through the funeral and the days that followed when I helped him and my niece attend to all the sad chores that follow an unexpected death. I thought about them on the plane returning to California from the Midwestern town where my sister's family lives. I thought about all the things that she hadn't seen or heard or done. I thought about the things that she had done without realizing that they were special. I'm still thinking about his words, and they've changed my life. I'm reading more and dusting less. I'm sitting on the deck and admiring the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I'm spending more time with my family and friends and less time in committee meetings. Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experience to savor, not endure. I'm trying to recognize these moments now and cherish them. I'm not "saving" anything; we use our good china and crystal for every special event-such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, the first camellia blossom. I wear my good blazer to the market if I feel like it. My theory is if I look prosperous, I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries without wincing. I'm not saving my good perfume for special parties; clerks in hardware stores and tellers in banks have noses that function as well as my party-going friends'. "Someday" and "one of these days" are losing their grip on my vocabulary. If it's worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now. I'm not sure what my sister would have done had she known that she wouldn't be here for the tomorrow we all take for granted. I think she would have called family members and a few close friends. She might have called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past squabbles. I like to think she would have gone out for a Chinese dinner, her favorite food. I'm guessing-I'll never know. It's those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew that my hours were limited. Angry because I put off seeing good Friends whom I was going to get in touch with-someday. Angry because I hadn't written certain letters that I intended to write-one of these days. Angry and sorry that I didn't tell my husband and daughter often enough how much I truly love them. I'm trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special. Every day, every minute, every breath truly is...a gift from God. If you've received this it is because someone cares for you and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care. If you're too busy to take the few minutes that it would take right now to forward this to ten people, would it be the first time you didn't do that little thing that would make a difference in your relationships? I can tell you it certainly won't be the last. I don't have to make up silly stories about people being hit by buses or crushed by falling disco balls for not sending this letter on. You've seen the result of this neglect in your own relationships that you have allowed to fade, dissolve, and fall into disrepair. Take this opportunity to set a new trend. Take a few minutes to send this to a few people you care about, just to let them know that you're thinking of them. It's even better if they're not the people you already correspond with every week. The more people that you send this to, the better luck you will have. And the better you'll get and reaching out to those you care about. May love litter your life with blessings! "You've got to dance like nobody's watching, and love like it's never going to hurt." "People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there." ~Unknown~ "Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. 'Pooh!' he whispered. 'Yes, Piglet?' 'Nothing,' said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. 'I just wanted to be sure of you.'" I will not drag you along; "Querer ser libre es empezar a serlo" - Betances "Prefiero morir de pie, que vivir de rodillas" - Albizu Campos You gain strength, experience, and confidence by every experience where you really stop to look fear in the face... You must do the thing that you cannot do. ~Eleanor Roosevelt Somehow this one slipped through the cracks........SORRY ! My dear family and friends, Hope this Christmas season is full of the Joy of Jesus for each and every one of you. Relax and enjoy your families and friends. Leave the hustle and bustle and languish in the true reason for this time of celebration. When I read this story it brought tears of joy. So get the tissues ready and enjoy. I love you one and all! DavidPS-You are all in our prayers!---DLJ TWO BABES IN A MANGER In 1994, two Americans answered an invitation from the Russian Department of Education to teach morals and ethics (based on biblical principles) in the public schools. They were invited to teach at prisons, businesses, the fire and police departments and a large orphanage. About 100 boys and girls who had been abandoned, abused, and left in the care of a government-run program were in the orphanage. They relate the following story in their own words: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was nearing the holiday season, 1994, time for our orphans to hear, for the first time, the traditional story of Christmas. We told them about Mary and Joseph arriving in Bethlehem. Finding no room in the inn, the couple went to a stable, where the baby Jesus was born and placed in a manger. Throughout the story, the children and orphanage staff sat in amazement as they listened. Some sat on the edges of their stools, trying to grasp every word. Completing the story, we gave the children three small pieces of cardboard to make a crude manger. Each child was given a small paper square, cut from yellow napkins I had brought with me. No colored paper was available in the city. Following instructions, the children tore the paper and carefully laid strips in the manger for straw. Small squares of flannel, cut from a worn-out nightgown an American lady was throwing away as she left Russia, were used for the baby's blanket. A doll-like baby was cut from tan felt we had brought from the United States. The orphans were busy assembling their manger as I walked among them to see if they needed any help. All went well until I got to one table where little Misha sat. He looked to be about 6 years old and had finished his project. As I looked at the little boy's manger, I was startled to see not one, but two babies in the manger. Quickly, I called for the translator to ask the lad why there were two babies in the manger. Crossing his arms in front of him and looking at this completed manger scene, the child began to repeat the story very seriously. For such a young boy, who had only heard the Christmas story once, he related the happenings accurately until he came to the part where Mary put the baby Jesus in the manger. Then Misha started to ad-lib. He made up his own ending to the story as he said, "And when Maria laid the baby in the manger, Jesus looked at me and asked me if I had a place to stay. I told him I have no mamma and I have no papa, so I don't have any place to stay. Then Jesus told me I could stay with him. But I told him I couldn't, because I didn't have a gift to give him like everybody else did. But I wanted to stay with Jesus so much, so I thought about what I had that maybe I could use for a gift. I thought maybe if I kept him warm, that would be a good gift. So I asked Jesus, "If I keep you warm, will that be a good enough gift?" And Jesus told me, "If you keep me warm, that will be the best gift anybody ever gave me." "So I got into the manger, and then Jesus looked at me and he told me I could stay with him---for always." As little Misha finished his story, his eyes brimmed full of tears that splashed down his little cheeks. Putting his hand over his face, his head dropped to the table and his shoulders shook as he sobbed and sobbed. The little orphan had found someone who would never abandon nor abuse him, someone who would stay with him-FOR ALWAYS. I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts. Things you wish you knew before college: Before I came to college I wish I had known . . . . . . . That it didn't matter how late I scheduled my first class, I'd sleep
through it anyway. To My Friend: Your importance can not be measured, your influence can never be purchased, your love can never be replaced. The Keeper of Friendship In a friendship We're free to expose, Parts of ourselves Nobody else knows. But the thing that sustains it And sets it apart, Is not something spoken It's a bond of the heart. True friends are rare In a lifetime two or three, I'm so glad it happened Between you and me! Remember: Real beauty lies not in the physical appearance, but in the heart. Real treasure lies not in what that can be seen, but what that cannot be seen. Real love lies not in what is done and known, but in what that is done but not known. Kind words can be short & easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. Life is to be fortified by many friendship. To love & to be loved is the greatest happiness. He who is happy knows his good fortune. He who is happy is rich enough. Happines is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to make others so. He who is happy knows his good fortune. He who is happy is rich enough. Happines is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to make others so. Subject: FW: You know you're in a African-American church if ....... 1. It's 2:15 and you are still in church service WITH CHRIST IN THE LEAD YOU MUST SUCCEED You May Keep Your Fork There was a woman who had been diagnosed with cancer and had been given 3 months to live. Her Dr. told her to start making preparations to die (something we all should be doing all of the time.) So she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what she wanted to be wearing. The woman also told her pastor that she wanted to be buried with her favorite bible. Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. "There's one more thing." She said excitedly. "What's that?" came the pastor's reply. "This is very important." The woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand." The pastor stood looking at the woman not knowing quite what to say. "That shocks you doesn't it?" The woman asked. "Well to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the pastor. The woman explained. "In all my years of attending church socials and functions where food was involved (and let's be honest, food is an important part of any church event; spiritual or otherwise), my favorite part was when whoever was clearing away the dishes of the main course would lean over and say 'you can keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming. When they told me to keep my fork, I knew that something great was about to be given to me. It wasn't Jell-O or pudding. It was cake or pie. Something with substance. "So I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder 'What's with the fork?' Then I want you to tell them: 'Something better is coming so keep your fork too.'" The pastor's eyes were welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the woman goodbye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She KNEW that something better was coming. At the funeral people were walking by the woman's casket and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing and her favorite bible and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over the pastor heard the question "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled. During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either. He was right. So the next time you reach down for your fork, let it remind you oh so gently that there is something better coming. "author unknown" A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and the Savior appeared. The Lord told the man he had work for him to do, and showed him a large rock in front of his cabin. The Lord explained that the man was to push against the rock with all his might. This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock, pushing with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling that his whole day had been spent in vain. Since the man was showing signs of discouragement, Satan decided to enter the picture by placing thoughts into the man's mind such as: "You Ð0A have been pushing against that rock for a long time, and it hasn't budged. Why kill yourself over this? You are never going to move it." Thus giving the man the impression that the task was impossible and that he was a failure, these thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man even more. "Why kill myself over this?" he thought. "I'll just put in my time, giving just the minimum effort and that will be good enough." And that he planned to do until one day he decided to make it a matter of prayer and take his troubled thoughts to the Lord. "Lord," he saidðC "I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even budged that rock by half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?" To this the Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when I asked you to serve me and you accepted, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength, which you have done. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. Your task was to push. And now you come to me, with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have. Yet you haven't moved the rock. But your calling was to be obedient and to push and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom. This you have done. "I, my friend, will move the rock." At times when we hear a word from God, we tend to use our own E intellect to decipher what He wants, when actually what God wants is just simple obedience and faith in Him... "By all means, exercise the faith that moves mountains; but it is still God who moves the mountain." "I will praise you, Oh Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever." Psalm 86:12 Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?" The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?" A minister passing through his church in the middle of the day, Decided to pause by the altar and see who had come to pray. Just then the back door opened, a man came down the aisle, The minister frowned as he saw the man hadn't shaved in a while. His shirt was kinda shabby and his coat was worn and frayed. The man knelt, he bowed his head, then rose and walked away. In the days that followed, each noon time came this chap, Each time he knelt just for a moment, a lunch pail in his lap. Well, the minister's suspicions grew, with robbery a main fear, He decided to stop the man and ask him, "What are you doing here?" The old man said, he worked down the road. Lunch was half an hour. Lunchtime was his prayer time, for finding strength and power. "I stay only moments, see, because the factory is so far away; As I kneel here talking to the Lord, this is kinda what I say: "I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD, HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN, SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN. DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY. SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM CHECKING IN." The minister feeling foolish, told Jim, that was fine. He told the man he was welcome to come and pray just anytime. Time to go, Jim smiled, said "Thanks." He hurried to the door. The minister knelt at the altar, he'd never done it before. His cold heart melted, warmed with love, and met with Jesus there. As the tears flowed, in his heart, he repeated old Jim's prayer: "I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD, HOW HAPPY I'VE BEEN, SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER'S FRIENDSHIP AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN. I DON'T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY. SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN." Past noon one day, the minister noticed that old Jim hadn't come. As more days passed without Jim, he began to worry some. At the factory, he asked about him, learning he was ill. The hospital staff was worried, but he'd given them a thrill. The week that Jim was with them, brought changes in the ward. His smiles, a joy contagious. Changed people were his reward. The head nurse couldn't understand why Jim was so glad, When no flowers, calls or cards came, not a visitor he had. The minister stayed by his bed, he voiced the nurse's concern: No friends came to show they cared. He had nowhere to turn. Looking surprised, old Jim spoke up and with a winsome smile; "The nurse is wrong, she couldn't know, that in here all the while Everyday at noon He's here, a dear friend of mine, you see, He sits right down, takes my hand, leans over and says to me: "I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM, HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN, SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP, AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN. ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY, I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY, AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS CHECKING IN." INSTRUCCIONES PARA VIVIR Dale a la gente mas de lo que espera, y hazlo alegremente. Memoriza tu poema preferido. No creas todo lo que escuchas, no gastes todo lo que tienes, ni duermas todo lo que quieras. Cuando digas "Te amo", sientelo realmente. Cuando digas "Perdon", mira los ojos de la persona a la que se lo digas. Comprometete por lo menos seis meses antes de casarte. Cree en el amor a primera vista. Nunca te rias de los sueños de los demas. Ama profunda y apasionadamente. Quizas te vas a lastimar, pero es la unica forma de vivir la vida por completo. En desacuerdos, pelea justamente. No juzgues a la gente por sus parientes. Habla poco y piensa rapido. Cuando alguien te pregunte algo y no quieras contestarle, sonriele y preguntale: ¿Por que lo quieres saber? Recuerda que un GRAN AMOR y los GRANDES LOGROS envuelven GRANDES RIESGOS. Llama a tu madre. Aunque no quieras UN GRAN AMOR siempre vuelve. Si pierdes, no olvides la leccion. Recuerda los tres puntos de la R: Respeto por uno mismo, Respeto por los demas y Responsabilidad por todos tus actos. No dejes que una pequena discusion arruine una gran amistad. Cuando te des cuenta que cometiste un error, trata de dar los pasos mas inmediatos que te lleven a arreglarlo. Sonrie cuando levantes el telefono. El que te llame va a escucharlo en tu voz. Casate con una persona con la cual te fascine hablar. A medida que te hagas viejo, sus habilidades para conversar van a ser muy importantes. Pasa algun tiempo solo. Manten tus brazos abiertos para los cambios, pero no dejes que se te escapen tus valores. Recuerda que a veces el silencio es la mejor respuesta. Lee mas libros y mira menos television. Vive una buena y honrable vida, entonces cuando seas viejo y recuerdes lo que has vivido, vas ha poder disfrutarlo por segunda vez. Confia en Dios pero cierra el coche con llave. Una atmosfera de amor en tu hogar es muy importante. Haz todo lo que puedas para crearla. Los desacuerdos con seres queridos, tratalos con situaciones actuales. Lee entre las lineas. Comparte tus conocimientos. Es una buena manera de ganarse la inmortalidad. Se gentil con la tierra. Ora. Hay mucho poder en las plegarias. Nunca interrumpas a alguien cuando te este halagando. Metete en tus propios problemas. Una vez al año, ve a algun lugar donde nunca hayas estado antes. Si ganas mucho dinero, inviertelo en ayudar a otros, asi vas a sentir lo que es ser verdaderamente rico. Recuerda que no conseguir lo que uno quiere es, a veces, un golpe de suerte. Aprende las reglas y despues rompe algunas. Recuerda que el mejor noviazgo es aquel en el cual el amor que existe entre los dos es mayor que la necesidad que tienen el uno del otro. Juzga tu exito por lo que has tenido que abandonar para llegar a lograrlo. Recuerda que tu caracter es tu destino. En el verdadero amor, cuando tengas que amar, hazlo sin seguir "instrucciones", haz lo que sientas. AMIGOS son esos extraños seres que nos preguntan como estamos y esperan para oir la contestacion. JESUS, SATAN and the Crowd There was a large group of people. On one side of the group stood a man, Jesus. On the other side of the group stood another man, Satan. Separating them, running through the group, was a fence. The scene set, both Jesus and Satan began calling to the people in the group and, one by one - each having made up his or her own mind - each went to either Jesus or Satan. This kept going. Soon enough, Jesus had gathered around him a group of people from the larger crowd, as did Satan. But one man joined neither group. He climbed the fence that was there and sat on it. Then Jesus and his people left and disappeared. So too did Satan and his people. And the man on the fence sat alone. As this man sat, Satan came back, looking for something which he appeared to have lost. The man said, "Have you lost something?" Satan looked straight at him and replied, "No, there you are. Come with me." "But", said the man, "I sat on the fence. I chose neither you nor him." "That's okay," said Satan. "I own the fence." Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor? Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. * Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke. Men continue reading. So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident. * By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: women never listen. And God Said "No" I asked God to take away my pride. And God said "No". He said it was not for him to take away, but for me to give up. I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said "No". He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary. I asked God to grant me patience. And God said "No". He said patience is a byproduct of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned. I asked God to give me happiness. And God said "No". He said he gives me blessings, happiness is up to me. I asked God to spare me pain. And God said "No". He said suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said "No". He said I must grow on my own. But he will prune me to make me fruitful. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said "No". He said I will give you life, that you may enjoy all things. I ask God to help me love others, as much as He loves me. And God said, Ah, finally you have the idea. Will you be ready when Jesus comes? A quick test of intelligence. FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS. Now count aloud the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE: do not go back and count them again. See below... Answer below:
ANSWER: There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds three of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six, you are a genius. There is no catch. Many people forget the "OF"'s. The human brain tends to see them as V's and not F's. Pretty weird, huh?
giggle
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path. How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it. What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? "Damn." What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids. What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones. What do the letters D.N.A. stand for? National Dyslexics Association. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese. What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses. What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand? Quatro sinko. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite. What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef. Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him. Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have phones. Why do bagpipers walk when they play? They're trying to get away from the noise. Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers. What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste. What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie? A dog that bites your leg off...then runs for help. What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office? They're hiring. What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka. VIRUS ALERT If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes," delete it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will program your phone autodial to call only your mother-in-law's number. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer. It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company. Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive voice and incorporate undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences. If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam. It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few signs of infection. PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!! (they need the laughs too) Father, I ask you to bless my friend reading this right now! Lord, show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace & Where there is self-doubting, release a renewed confidence in Your ability to work through them. Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I ask You to give them understanding, patience, & strength as they learn submission to Your leading. Where there is spiritual stagnation, I ask You to renew them by revealing Your nearness, and by drawing them into greater intimacy with You. Where there is fear, reveal Your love, and release to them Your courage. Where there is a sin blocking them, reveal it, and break its hold over my friends' life. Bless their finances, give them greater vision, and raise up leaders, and friends to support, and encourage them. Give each of them discernment and the power they have in You to defeat evil. I ask You to do these things in Jesus' name! In His love, Your Friend in Jesus Pass this on to anyone you consider a friend ... a few kind words is a big blessing to others. This is a story of a little boy name Theo, who woke up one morning and asked his mother, "Mom, what if there were no Black people in the world?" Well his mother thought about that for a moment, and then said, "Son, follow me around today and let's just see what it would be like if there were no Black people in the world". Mom said, "Now go get dressed and we will get started. Theo ran to his room to put on his clothes and shoes. His mother took one look at him and said, "Theo, where are your shoes? and those clothes are all wrinkled son, I must iron them". However, when she reached for the ironing board it was no longer there. You see Sarah Boone, a black woman, invented the ironing board and Jan E. Matzelinger, a black man, invented the shoe lasting machine. Oh well, she said," please go and do something to your hair". Theo ran in his room to comb his hair, but the comb was not there. You see, Walter Sammons, a black man, invented the comb. Theo decided to just brush his hair, but the brush was gone. You see Lydia O. Newman, a black female, invented the brush. Well this was a sight, no shoes, wrinkled clothes, hair a mess, even Mom's hair, without the hair care inventions of Madam C. Walker, well you get the picture. Mom told Theo, "let's do our chores around the house and then take a trip to the grocery store. Theo's job was to sweep the floor. He swept and swept and swept. When he reached for the dust pan, it was not there. You see, Lloyd P. Ray, a black man, invented the dust pan. So he swept his pile of dirt over in the corner and left it there. He then decided to mop the floor, but the mop was gone. You see, Thomas W. Stewart, a black man, invented the mop. Theo yelled to his Mom, "Mom, I'm not having any luck." Well son, she said, let me finish washing these clothes and we will prepare a list for the grocery store. When the wash finished, she went to place the clothes in the dryer but it was not there. You see, George T. Samon, a black man, invented the clothes dryer. Mom asked Theo to go get a pencil and some paper to prepare their list for the market. So Theo ran for the paper and pencil but noticed the pencil lead was broken. Well he was out of luck because John Love, a black man, invented the pencil sharpener. Mom reached for a pen, but it was not there because William Purvis, a black man, invented the fountain pen. As a matter of fact, Lee Burridge invented the type writing machine, and W. A. Lovette the advanced printing press. Theo and his mother decided to head out to the market. Well when Theo opened the door he noticed the grass was as high as he was tall. You see, the lawn mower was invented by John Burr, a black man. They made their way over to the car, and found that it just wouldn't go. You see, Richard Spikes, a black man, invented the automatic gear shift and Joseph Gammel invented the supercharge system for internal combustion engines. They noticed that the few cars that were moving were running into each other and having wrecks because there were no traffic signals. You see, Garrett A. Morgan, a black man invented the traffic light. Well, it was getting late, so they walked to the market, got their groceries and returned home. Just when they were about to put away the milk, eggs and butter, they noticed the refrigerator was gone. You see John Standard, a black man, invented the refrigerator. So they just left the food on the counter. By this time, Theo noticed he was getting mighty cold. Mom went to turn up the heat, and what do you know. Alice Parker, a black female, invented the heating furnace. Even in the summer time they would have been out of luck because Frederick Jones, a black man, invented the air conditioner. It was almost time for Theo's father to arrive home. He usually takes the bus. But there was no bus, because it's precursor was the electric trolley, invented by another black man, Elbert R. Robinson. He usually takes the elevator from his office on the 20th floor, but there was no elevator because Alexander Miles, a black man, invented the elevator. He also usually dropped off the office mail at a near by mailbox, but it was no longer there because Philip Downing, a black man, invented the letter drop mailbox and William Barry invented the postmarking and canceling machine. Theo and his mother sat at the kitchen table with their head in their hands. When the father arrived he asked, Why are you sitting in the dark? Why? Because Lewis Howard Latimer, a black man, invented the filament within the light bulb. Theo quickly learned what it would be like if there were no black people in the world especially if he were ever sick and needed blood. Charles Drew, a black scientist, found a way to preserve and store blood, which led to his starting the worlds first blood bank. And what if a family member had to have heart surgery. This would not have been possible without Dr. Daniel Hale Williams, a black doctor, who performed the first open heart surgery. So if you ever wonder, like Theo, where would we be without US?? Well, it's pretty plain to see. We would still be in the DARK! Fifteen Factors for a Fulfilling Relationship by Neil Clark Warren,Ph.D. Since the 1970s, people have been holding onto their single status an average of five years longer. Today, according to the National Centerfor Health Statistics, the average age for women to marry is 28,andfor men 29. Their desire to wait is frequently based on the need"to be sure" about their choice of a mate. And waiting until you aresureis a good policy for such a monumental decision. As a psychologist who works with hundreds of singles and married couples, I am constantly amazed at how many people stumble their wayinto marriage and then wonder why their relationship grows miserablystagnant or chronically contentious. The idea of approaching thedecision of matrimony objectively and proactively (before theceremony) simply never occurred to them. Most of the failed marriages I have encountered were in trouble the day they began. Why? Quite simply, the two people involved chose thewrong person. Your choice of marital partner is more crucial than anything else you will ever do to make your marriage succeed. That maysound like a no-brainer, but you would be surprised at the large percentage of people who are so intent on getting to "I do" that theydon't invest the necessary time and effort to make a good decision. If you want to give yourself the best chance for a fulfilling and lasting marriage, consider the following factors for making that mate choice: 1. Couples who date for two years or more have a significantly better chance of building a happy, lasting marriage. When a couple is ready to decide on something as all-encompassing as marriage after only a couple of months of dating, I assume their decision is long on fantasy and short on reality. It tells me that the hard work of marriage is being seriously underestimated. In fact, research shows that couples who dated for two years or more scored consistently higher on marital satisfaction than couples who dated for shorter periods of time. 2. People often choose a mate to please someone else - a father, mother, or the person who is asking them to get married - but it is absolutely critical that they be pleased personally. Your decision must be made in light of your own needs and dreams - those that God is revealing to you and guiding you toward. You should also listen carefully to the input of friends and family members, but don't let anyone select your marriage partner for you. 3. Unrealistic expectations for marriage may be the principal reason for most early divorces. Many men and women enter marriage believing their spouse will meet all their needs and that their romantic feelings will never end. The truth is, successful marriages require an incredible amount of work, patience, and endurance. I've watched many marriages crumble because the couples expected life to be filled with ivy-covered cottages, walks on the beach, steamy love scenes, and nonstop fun. That just isn't reality. 4. Personality or behavioral problems will not vanish when you get married. If there are qualities about your partner's personality or behavior that you question - such as jealousy, a quick temper, irresponsibility, dishonesty, or stubbornness - ask yourself if you are willing to spend the rest of your life dealing with these problems. Obviously, if the person you are considering has a drug or drinking problem or trouble with sexual integrity, you should make absolutely sure that he or she has worked through the problem well in advance of your marriage. 5. You need to have plenty of "life experience" with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Selecting a marriage partner involves a prediction about how well the two of you will get along through the years. Couples must walk together through the variety of circumstances and situations necessary to really know someone. Spend time with your partner early in the morning and late at night; in heavy traffic and on country roads; in times of stress and ease. 6. Your mental image of the person you would like to marry has a big influence on your eventual choice. This image is often largely unconscious to you, but it influences you greatly nonetheless. Therefore, it's vital to mentally clarify the type of person you want to marry. Think long and hard about all kinds of factors - appearance, intelligence, education, spirituality, and so on. 7. It's crucial to find a person to marry who is a lot like you. For couples, similarities are like money in the bank, and differences are like debts they owe. If you want to make a marriage work with someone who is very different from you, you'll need a large number of similarities as permanent equity in your account. If you don't, your relationship could be bankrupt at a frighteningly early stage. 8. If the person you marry is much less or much more ambitious than you, it's likely you will both be frustrated. Are you eager to climb the corporate ladder while your partner is content to put in time at work, collect a paycheck, and enjoy his free time? Are you satisfied with your current situation while your mate is constantly charging ahead in pursuit of some goal? The world needs people who are super-ambitious, just as it needs contented, laid-back types. The problem arises when a man and a woman on opposite ends of the spectrum get together. This difference may be appealing during courtship, but it will cause ample frustration through the years. 9. The ability of two people to communicate with each other is vital to their marital success. A marriage is only as healthy as the level of communication that transpires within it. It's impossible to imagine a great marriage without two people who have worked hard at mastering the art of talking and listening. 10. Couples need to know that they are capable of resolving conflicts before they get married. If a couple doesn't know how to deal effectively with their disagreements, their marriage may be systematically destroyed. In my opinion, more marriages fail because couples don't know how to handle their differences than any other reason. That's why it's so vital that you and your mate assess your conflict-resolution skills prior to marriage. 11. Couples must be rooted in shared religious and spiritual beliefs. When two people are spiritually sensitive and their lives are centered on common beliefs, they have a solid foundation on which to build a relationship. Couples who develop a spiritual base for their lives together become intimately joined and merged. By affirming each other's most sacred and deeply held convictions, the man and woman establish the most important connecting point of all. 12. Passionate love usually fades substantially within six to eight months. Passion exists between two people to keep them focused on each other long enough to decide if they belong together for a lifetime. It's normal and natural for these intense feelings of attraction to wane. That's when companionate love becomes so important. Companionate love is characterized by a strong bond based on tender attachment, enjoyment of each other's company, mutual support, and close friendship. Far deeper and more slowly developed than the fiery, hot-blooded emotions that characterize early romance, this kind of love is precisely what long-term relationships are made of. But because this takes time to cultivate, some couples get impatient and give up on their relationship. 13. Trust and trustworthiness are essential for a good marriage. Trust is what enables couples to flourish in the good times and hold together in the bad times. When tough times come along, the couples don't panic. They cling to the fact that their marriage has been wonderful before and will be again. 14. If you want to understand your partner's psychological makeup, explore his family relationships. All of us are enormously influenced by our parents, and we carry into marriage many of the patterns and methods of relating that we learned in our own families. I realize that no parent-child relationship is perfect, but in most cases you can gain greatly needed insight by examining how your mate relates to his mom and dad. Does he talk through problems or sweep conflicts under the rug? Does he communicate in a straightforward manner or in a manipulative, coercive fashion? 15. People who love each other have shared dreams and plans for reaching them. The best marriages involve two people who have a well-formed vision of the life they are pursuing together. I've noticed that these people thoroughly enjoy dreaming together and planning a way to make their dreams come true. At the center of all this dreaming and planning is a recurring theme: "I want the future to be good for you. If it isn't good for you, it can't be good for us." Marriage provides the conditions in which we can experience tremendous happiness and satisfaction - or grief and frustration. By carefully considering the above points, you'll take a big step toward a fulfilling future. FIVE GREAT LESSONS: The Important Things Life Teaches You... ~ 1 ~ Most Important Question During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy. ~ 2 ~ Pickup in the Rain One night, at 11:30 PM, an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her - generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxi cab. She seemed to be in a big hurry! She wrote down his address, thanked him and drove away. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes but my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others." Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole ~ 3 ~ Always remember those who serve In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it. "How much is a dish of plain ice cream?" he inquired. Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she said brusquely. The little boy again counted the coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed. When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies - her tip. (He had the 50 cents, but he gave up the sundae so that he could tip her even though she was not very kind to him) ~ 4 ~ The Obstacle in Our Path In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one's condition. ~ 5 ~ Giving Blood Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at Stanford Hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save Liz." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?" Being young, the boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood. * Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. BALANCE In a university commencement address several years ago, Brian Dyson, CEO of Coca Cola Enterprises, spoke of the relation of work to one's other commitments: Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them: work, family, health, friends and spirit, and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls--family, health, friends, and spirit--are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. How? Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you. Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as if they were your life, for without them, life is meaningless. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live ALL the days of your life. Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying. Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other. Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave. Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find time. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings. Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you are going. Don't forget, a person's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated. Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a treasure you can always carry easily. Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be retrieved. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift--that's why we call it The Present. Two Little Boys A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be assured that if any mischief occurred in their town their two young sons were in some way involved. The parents were at their wits end as to what to do about their sons' behavior. The mother had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak with the clergyman. The husband said, "We might as well. We need to do something before I really lose my temper!" The clergyman agreed to speak with the boys, but asked to see them individually. The 8 year old went to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face, "WHERE IS GOD?" At that the boy bolted from the room and ran directly home, slamming himself in the closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, "What happened?" The younger brother replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it."
Subject: Beautiful advice
ETERNAL INK I dreamed I was in heaven
Graduation Address Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '98: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed
your Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will
philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that
when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen. NO JACKET REQUIRED I shook my head in disbelief. This couldn't be the right place. After all, I couldn't possibly be welcome here. I had been given an invitation several times, by several different people, and had finally decided to see what this place was all about. But, this just couldn't be the right place. Quickly, I glanced down at the invitation that I clutched in my hand. I scanned past the words, "Come as you are No jacket required" and found the location. Yes, I was at the right place. I peered through the window again and saw a room of people whose faces seemed to glow with joy. All were neatly dressed, adorned in fine garments and appeared strangely clean as they dined at this exquisite restaurant. Ashamed, I looked down at my own tattered and torn clothing, covered in stains. I was dirty, in fact, filthy. A foul smell seemed to consume me and I couldn't shake the grime that clung to my body. As I turned around to leave, the words from the invitation seemed to leap out at me... "Come as you are. No jacket required." I decided to give it a shot. Mustering up every bit of courage I could find, I opened the door to this restaurant and walked up to a man standing behind a podium. "Your name, sir?" he asked Me with a smile. "Jimmy D. Brown," I mumbled without looking up. I thrust my hands deep into my pockets, hoping to conceal their stains. He didn't seem to notice the filth that I was covered in and he continued, "Very good, sir. A table is reserved in your name. Would you like to be seated?" I couldn't believe what I heard! A grin broke out on my face and I said, "Yes, of course!" He lead me to a table and, sure enough, there was a placard with my name written on it in a deep, dark red. As I browsed over a menu, I saw many delightful items listed. There were things like, "peace," "assurance," "hope," "love," "faith," and "mercy." I realized that this was no ordinary restaurant! I flipped the menu back to the front in order to see where I was at..... "God's Grace," was the name of this place! The man returned and said, "I recommend the 'Special of the Day'. With it, you are entitled to heaping portions of everything on this menu." You've got to be kidding! I thought to myself. You mean, I can have ALL of this! "What is the 'Special of the Day' I asked with excitement ringing in my voice. "Salvation," was his reply. "I'll take it," I practically cried out. Then, as quickly as I made that statement, the joy left my body. A sick, painful ache jerked through my stomach and tears filled my eyes. Between my sobs I said... "Mister, look at me. I'm dirty and nasty. I'm unclean and unworthy of such things. I'd love to have all of this, but, but, I just can't afford it. Undaunted, the man smiled again. "Sir, your check has already been taken are of by that Gentleman over there," he said point to the front of the room. "His Name is Jesus." Turning, I saw a man whose very presence seemed to light the room. He was almost too much to look at. I found myself walking towards Him and in a shaking voice I whispered, "Sir, I'll wash the dishes or sweep the floors or take out the trash. I'll do anything I can do to repay you for all of this." He opened His arms and said with a smile, "Son, all of this is yours if you just come unto me. Ask me to clean you up and I will. Ask me to take away the stains and it is done. Ask me to allow you to feast at my table and you will eat. Remember, the table is reserved in your name. All you must do is accept this gift that I offer you." Astonished, I fell at his feet and said, "Please, Jesus. Please clean up my life. Please change me and sit me at your table and give me this new life." Immediately, I heard the words, "It is finished." I looked down and white robes adorned my squeaky clean body. Something strange and wonderful had happened. I felt new, like a weight had been lifted and I found myself seated at His table. "The 'Special of the Day' has been served," the Lord said to me. "Salvation is yours." We sat and talked for a great while and I so enjoyed the time that I spent with Him. He told me, me of all people, that He would like for me to come back as often as I liked for another helping from God's Grace. He made it clear that He wanted me to spend as much time with Him as possible. As it drew near time for me to go back outside into the "real world," He whispered to me softly, "And Lo, I am with you always." And then, He said something to me that I will never forget. He said... "My child, do you see these empty tables throughout this room?" "Yes, Lord. I see them. What do they mean?" I replied. "These are reserved tables...but the individuals whose names are on each placard have not accepted their invitations to dine. Would you be so kind as to hand out these invitations to those who have not joined us yet?" Jesus asked. "Of course," I said with excitement as I picked up the invitations. "Go ye therefore into all nations," He said as I turned to leave. I walked into God's Grace dirty and hungry. Stained in sin. My righteousness as filthy rags. And Jesus cleaned me up. I walked out a brand new man ... robed in white, His righteousness. And so, I'll keep my promise to my Lord. I'll go. I'll spread the Word. I'll share the Gospel... I'll hand out the invitations. And I'll start with you. Have you been to God's Grace? There's a table reserved in your name, and here's your invitation... "Come as you are. No jacket required." Parrot Training So there's this fellow with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, Subject: Getting your priorities in order: Matthew (6:33) One of the easiest traps to fall into, and one of things that I pray about daily, is giving my best effort in every area of my life. For most of us, a big portion of our life is our job or school. We tend to spend the majority of our time and energy either involved in our work or school. How many days do you come home from work or school, and are exhausted. You have literally given everything you have, and your tank is empty. The problem is, in addition to your work or school, you have a spouse, children, family, friends (maybe only one or possibly all) that are part of your life and need to be nurtured. How often do we come home and we just have nothing left for our wife or husband? Or how many times are we too busy to spend that quality time with our children we need to? the fact is, while we often give our best efforts, give the best of what we have at work or school, those we love most in this life get the leftovers. What I am talking about is the balance in our life that is so critical. The order of our priorities is simple. Our relationship with the Lord has to be first since who we are, and what we are in this life flow from that relationship. Then comes those people God has given us to share this life with. Our spouse, children, family, close friends. Next is our job or education. Now I realize that I may make some people uncomfortable today. Talk to the Lord about it. Why do we give so much at work, at school, give the very best we have, and give very little at home.....and usually nothing at all to the Lord. That is upside down! When our priorities are upside down, our lives tend to get upside down. Marriages get into trouble because husbands and wives don't work at it. Marriage is NOT a joint living arrangement, but a bonding, a blending of two lives into one, with Christ as the center. Everyone is so busy with "work", that many marriages are little more than convenient living arrangements. Is it any wonder then why without the intimacy, the daily nurturing, that so many end up in relationships outside the home? The really stupid thing is that if you put the same amount of energy and effort into your spouse that you end up putting into someone else, you would be amazed at how wonderful God can make the marriage experience. Because of "work", your children don't get the best you have, they get little bits and pieces here and there. Other family members and friends also get whatever is leftover. The Lord???? Maybe a "hello" as you leave in the morning, or a "prayer" as your eyes close at night. Nobody is more guilty of this than I am. As with all battles, we must have a battleplan. Being a very organized person as many of you are, here is how I have worked at keeping my priorities straight, making sure that I was giving my best efforts, in all of the areas of my life. First, is my daily walk with Christ. Whether you are a pastor, in full-time ministry, a homemaker, a student, or whatever else you may do in life, THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR DAILY WALK WITH CHRIST. Especially for those in ministry, if you don't have a real, intimate, daily walk with Christ, you have NO ministry. Your ministry flows from that personal relationship. Every morning when I awake I embrace my son and we thank God for all his blessing. We thank him for the gift of another day and each other. This has become our personal routine that I enjoy. I HAVE to start my day with the Lord, for many reasons, but practically, if I don't do it then, it will never get done. That is reality. I schedule my day to include time with my son. I make sure we eat breakfast together every morning. This seems the best time that I can schedule time. Dinner together is a little more difficult because of my schedule but when I can we do eat together. Each day we spend time talking. More importantly, my son spends time talking and I spend time listening. Even when I don't want to and am bogged down by the day's events or things I have to do. I try to focus on his stories and things he feels are important., because he deserves that respect. Communication is critical to building a trusting relationship with your child. Talk with the Lord, talk with your children. Sandwiched in between is our work or school. How is it possible to have the energy, to give our best to the Lord, at work or school, to our spouse, kids, family, and friends? My friend, in our own strength it is impossible! We can only do it in the strength the Lord gives us. We have to be aware how important it is to keep our priorities in line. When we get our priorities out of line, we will get into trouble in one, two, or many areas of our life. It is just a matter of time. I realized this has been a lenghty however, I am faced with this challenge everyday and wanted to share with you that God has a plan to help you. It is not to late to make changes, and God will help you to get your priorities in order. God, our loved ones, work/school. If we keep our priorities straight, the Lord will help us to always give our best effort in EVERY area of our life. Prayers go up, Blessings come down!! The Room... In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I. Have Laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers". Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes less than I hoped. The sheer volume of the life I had lived overwhelmed me. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature. When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I have listened to," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented. When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burnthe cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand. And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me. Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no, " as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished." I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written. *** "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13 This story is the best e-mail story I have ever read. "For God so loved the world that He gave His only son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." If you feel the same way forward it to as many people as you can so the love of Jesus will touch their lives also. My "People I shared the gospel with" file just got bigger; how about yours? "RED ROSE" Red roses were her favorites, The year he died, the roses Each year he sent her roses, My love for you will always grow, She thought, he ordered roses He always liked to do things early, She trimmed the stems, She would sit for hours, A year went by, and it was hard Then, the very hour, She brought the roses in, The owner answered, "I know your husband passed away, The flowers you received today, There is a standing order, There also is another thing, Then, should ever I find out She thanked him and hung up the phone, Inside the card, she saw "Hello my love, I know it must be lonely, The love we shared made everything You were my friend and lover, I want you to be happy, When you get these roses, I have always loved you Please...try to find happiness, The roses will come every year, He will come five times that day, To take the roses to the place, Sometimes in life, you find a special friend; Someone who changes your life just by being part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can't stop; Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is Forever Friendship. Why did you make me Black? Why did you make me Black? Black is the color of dirty clothes, the color of grimy hands and feet... Why did You give me thick lips, a broad nose and kinky hair??? Black is the color of the bruised eye when someone gets hurt. How come my bone structure's so thick, my hips and cheeks are high?? Why do people think I'm useless? How come I feel so used? Lord, I just don't understand. What is it about my skin? Black is what people are "listed" when others want to keep
them away. Lord, you know my own people mistreat me and I know this just ain't right. Then God replied... Why did I make you Black? Why did I make you Black? I made you in the color of coal from which beautiful diamonds are formed. I made you from the rich, dark earth that can grow the food you need, I didn't make you in the image of darkness. All the colors of the heavenly rainbow can be found throughout every
Nation. Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool. Such a humble little creature
is he. You are the color of midnight sky. I put star's glitter in your eyes. You are the color of dark clouds formed when I send my strongest weather. Your stature is strong, your bone structure thick
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